Monthly Archives: July 2012

Ann Curry and the Million Dollar Question

Posted on by Michelle Mains

I watched Ann Curry’s exit from The Today Show at the end of June with painful fascination.  As I noted in “The Case for Reinvention”, I’m not someone who normally watches morning shows.  Ann’s patience and poise in finally ascending to the permanent host role was inspiring to me.

It was those reasons that made her downfall so awful.  In her farewell video, you could empathize with her.  The embarrassment of having failed.  And especially her disappointment in herself.

I’m hoping Ann Curry changes her mind about her circumstances.  She may not have been the perfect employee, or maybe everything the Today Show was hoping for.  Yet I felt for her because I’ve made her mistake again and again.  What I’ve come to think of as The Million Dollar Question.  Dr. Darren Weissman likes to ask people he counsels, “If you could create things any way you want, would you create it like this?”  Invariably the answer is “no”.  And then the work begins to shift the internal belief as well as the external circumstances.

Like many people, I’ve been the “if only” girl so many times.  We’ve all heard variations of these excuses.  “Things will get better when the new VP starts.”  “We’re just not connecting…right now.”  “I would love this house if the neighbors acted differently towards me.”  All of these moments happened to Ann Curry.  There were rumors in the press that Matt Lauer openly disliked her and perhaps planted negative stories.  She transitioned from working on news stories to puff pieces including dressing like the royals during Prince William’s wedding last year.  And in the end, she didn’t necessarily receive the respect or acknowledgement she deserved (Meredith Vieira’s good-bye tribute show was 2 hours; Ann received 5 minutes).

Take a minute to go back to Darren Weissman’s statement, “Would you ever create it like this?”  Would you ever choose to be in an environment where co-workers were openly hostile to you? To work for management who didn’t back you up?  Or to do work which was not necessarily that interesting?  In the past, I’ve always thought, “Well, nothing’s permanent – things will change eventually.”  This is true, but think about it the opposite way for the moment.  What if things had never changed, or taken years to shift?

I’m sure Ann Curry is still processing what her new life will look like.  I have no idea where things will go, but I’m bullish on her.  (And as an aside, it’s interesting to note that her successor, Savannah Guthrie, is having migraines less than a month after starting.)

Someone once asked former GE Chairman, Jack Welch, for the best business advice he ever received.  Surprisingly it came from his mother, not some famous business titan.  It bears a passing resemblance to Darren Weissman’s million dollar question.  “Jack – see things for what they are…not as you want them to be.”

Good Find Friday: IMDB Parental Guide

Posted on by Michelle Mains

I finally caught up with “Brave” last weekend, along with the 6 kids or so in Seattle who hadn’t seen it yet. :)  It looked really charming, but I was shut out by incredible lines when it opened.  (It poured rain that weekend, so every cinema turned into the movie equivalent of Chuck E. Cheese.)  It’s not a great picture, but it’s fun and nicely done, in case you’re looking for a light escape.

I noticed that IMDB has started a new Parental Guide link.  This page will tell you about sex/nudity, profanity, alcohol/drugs/smoking, and the various acts of violence or frightening/intense scenes throughout the film.  Check out the page for The Dark Knight Rises.  When I went to see Brave, there were a lot of children lined up waiting for the screening room for The Dark Knight to open.  I have to wonder about parents who feel compelled to take elementary school kids to see something this potentially disturbing, no matter how much begging was involved.  Is a 6 year old really mature enough for 18 acts of violence, 19 incidents of profanity, 6 sex references, and many frightening or intense scenes?

If you have some sensitive members of the family, or “wee ones” like they say in Brave, check out the Parental Guide page before you go.  And for everyone still struggling with the events in Aurora, peace be with you.

Build a Guardrail

Posted on by Michelle Mains

Andy Stanley has a motivating teaching about creating guardrails in your life.  His proposal seems pretty basic – obvious, really.  Have some safety zones, without being too constrictive.  A margin for error, just in case things don’t work the way you expected.  And a Plan B if they don’t work out at all.

His wife, Sandra, told an interesting story during an interview about choosing to homeschool their children.  On the one hand, she felt drawn to homeschooling.  On the other, she had serious and realistic concerns about not only being successful, but also properly caring for her two other children, both pre-schoolers at the time.

She and Andy decided they would try to homeschool on a trial basis after talking with other parents.  She even started her eldest a little early.  Sandra joked, “If it was a disaster, I knew I could always enroll him in the local kindergarten.”

It turns out that homeschooling worked for them.  Every year, they’d take another look at their schedule and how their children were progressing to decide if it was right “this year”.  “This year” turned into ten.

It’s a simple illustration, but there’s a lot to be learned from the Stanleys:

  1. They had a realistic understanding of what homeschooling might entail.
  2. They didn’t act impulsively; they researched how other families managed homeschooling.  How many of us excitedly jump into projects, and then wish later we had slowed down?
  3. They had the long view.  (Probably my favorite.)  They continued to revisit their schedule to understand if homeschooling still fit.  At one point it didn’t, and they put their kids in the neighborhood school.

This week, follow their example.  Step out in faith on that new idea, but give yourself a little extra room.  A chance to recover gracefully if there’s a surprise or two.  Let your creativity flourish, but don’t be shy about slowing down a little.  As Gandhi once said, “Speed is irrelevant if you’re traveling in the wrong direction.”

Good Find Friday: Inside Job

Posted on by Michelle Mains

“Inside Job” was one of those pictures on my movie list that I just kept missing.  Sometimes that can be a problem with independent films.  Unlike blockbusters, they’re usually in town for just a few weeks.

I finally saw it and thought it was fantastic (and so did the Academy Awards as well as the Cannes, New York and Toronto film festivals).  It’s one of the most comprehensive and understandable stories to date of the financial meltdown of 2008 – 2009.  Admittedly, not a fun topic, but it really explains how we got to the state we found ourselves in, and how it could have been avoided.  Just when you think you’re in for a dry review of the data, you’ll find yourself engrossed by the personalities involved, from the day-to-day traders all the way to Eliot Spitzer.  After I saw one mistake compounded by another, I felt pretty good about how my kitchen table checkbook is managed, and you may too.

Give it a try – enjoy!

The Go Sign

Posted on by Michelle Mains

I was re-reading “The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity” by Edwene Gaines, and rediscovered her entertaining story about “the go sign”.  She tells how she was on the fence about moving, and decided that she needed a clear symbol.  Not just a whisper of a message, or an impression, but a burning bush!  I won’t spoil it for you – that story alone is worth getting her book.  (And by the way, she got the burning bush.)  As I was reading the chapter, I was reminded about an incident at the Dooney & Bourke store when I was in New York.

I already had something in mind when I walked in.  I’ll admit it – looking at Dooney & Bourke handbags is hours of uninterrupted fun for me.  Since I was on vacation with a small suitcase, I had told myself I couldn’t splurge on anything big.  Just a small reminder about my trip.  (I went for the nylon mini-barrel to take out in the evening, if you’re curious.)

While I was there, a couple was browsing through the store, and then the woman picked out a beautiful leather handbag.  Of course the Dooney rep mentioned that they had a matching wallet, and the wife decided to take a look.  Her husband went to pay for it, and I thought, “Wow – generous guy!”  They began to ring up the purchase – $581.  Only…the credit card wouldn’t go through.

They ran it again.  No luck.  The husband turned to the wife, and she said she had paid the bill.  I winced as I continued to check out in person all the things I had seen online.  They had a short discussion while I kept walking around.  I finally decided on my nylon clutch, and the associate went in the back to pull new stock as well as an alternate color I asked to see.  I decided which one to take, and noticed that the couple was hanging out on one of the benches.  Since it was a hot and humid day, I thought they might be resting before venturing back out.

Then my sales associate quietly turned to me and said, “Why don’t I take you up front since my colleague is busy?”  Then I realized – this couple isn’t hanging out.  They’re on the phone with their credit card company either trying to get them to up the credit line or apply the payment they just sent in.   The sale was held up at the back register.

Talk about a burning bush.  Hey honey – when you’re calling your credit card company in the middle of the Dooney & Bourke boutique, Heaven is trying to clearly tell you that you’re over the limit.  Busted.  Not a good idea.  And certainly not today.

Are you getting a quiet nudge this week?  Maybe a tap on the shoulder?  Or like this couple, even a burning bush? I’ll leave you with some good advice from actor Henry Winkler: “Your mind knows only some things.  Your inner voice, your instinct, knows everything.  If you listen to what you know instinctively, it will always lead you down the right path.”

 

Good Find Friday: New York Botanical Gardens

Posted on by Michelle Mains

I saved the best for last this week.  I had never been to the New York Botanical Gardens before, but I’m really glad I made the trip!  (It turns out it’s a quick 20-minute ride from Grand Central.) 

For the next few months, they are featuring an elegant re-creation of Monet’s gardens at Giverny.  I think you’ll be inspired by the indoor gardens as well as the beautiful water presentation.  You’ll feel like you’re in France, even if you’re sweating it out in 90 degree humidity in the Bronx.  While you’re there, take the opportunity to see two Monet paintings, too.  After visiting, I was able to understand Monet’s statement of “I am following Nature without being able to grasp her.  I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.”

Tres bien!

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48 Hours in New York

Posted on by Michelle Mains

I just got back from a quick couple of days in New York.  I had such a great time – a morning at the re-creation of Monet’s gardens at Giverny, two Broadway shows, and a Mets game in between.

Two thumbs up for “The Best Man“.  It was originally scheduled to close on July 8, but they’ve decided to extend the run with some changes in the cast.  I was excited about seeing John Larroquette, but he really surprised me in this role.  He gave a thoughtful, nuanced performance; beautifully done!

If you’re in New York anytime soon, I can’t recommend “One Man, Two Guvnors” highly enough.  I had planned to see “The Lyons”, but it unexpectedly closed a little early following the Tony Awards.  James Corden won the Tony for Best Actor, and there was just something about him that was really likeable.  I decided to try his show when I had to change tickets, and I’m so glad I did.  I laughed so hard I worried about how my face was going to look when I left.  Will I have mascara running down my cheeks from laughing until I cried?  It was HILARIOUS!  Go see it!

There’s a lot to be said for getting out and allowing things to inspire you.  I am always refreshed after a visit to New York.  Unique expressions of creativity seem to be everywhere I turn – whether it is the beauty of nature, fantastic performers giving their best on  Broadway, or the remembrance at Citi Field of the marvelous Jackie Robinson.  It is my good wish for you that you’ll find your own corners of inspiration this Summer.  In the words of Emmet Fox, “Open the windows of your soul to the light of God’s inspiration and understanding.  Let the fresh air of God’s love give you new life and thrill you.  Awaken to the glory that is within, for only then will you truly find the glory that is in the outer.”

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Good Find Friday: White House Chef

Posted on by Michelle Mains

Since it’s July 4th this week, I had to go with an All-American recommendation.  I stumbled across “White House Chef: Eleven Years, Two Presidents, One Kitchen” in the library, and really fell in love with it.  Its author, Walter Scheib, cooked for the Clintons and George W. Bush.

There are many appealing recipes, but if you’re a political junkie, you’ll enjoy the cook’s tour (literally!) of the White House.  For example, Chef Scheib tells a lovely story about cooking for Hilary Clinton during a difficult period, and how he decided on the spur of the moment to make fajitas.  After enjoying the robust lunch, Secretary Clinton called him in and said, “Walter – that was wonderful.  You know, sometimes you just need something good!”  Said like a true foodie.

You’ll enjoy hearing Chef Scheib’s stories about teaching the polite and receptive Chelsea Clinton a few basic meals before she went off to college.  I highly recommend making “Chelsea’s Chocolate Chip Cookies.”

Bon appetit!

So, Who Are You?

Posted on by Michelle Mains

A friend has been on me to see “Kung Fu Panda 2”.  It sounds kind of ridiculous for a girl who likes documentaries and foreign films, but one rainy Friday night I decided to take the leap.  What a cute movie.

It’s a wonderful story, and I loved the way it showed kids throughout the picture how you can transform your situation.  I wish someone had shared those kinds of stories and tools with me as I was growing up.  I had no idea that simply changing my attitude could often change my circumstances.

Debbie Ford did a show on Hay House Radio recently where she had an illustration about changing your browser homepage.  When you wake up in the morning – what is your default?  Depressed.com?  Anger.com?  It’s a funny way to demonstrate a serious topic, and she had an amazing presentation.  I had a tough day at work last week, and I went to bed feeling like John McEnroe during a Wimbledon fortnight.  I woke up still bugged about the situation the next morning.  It was YouCannotBeSerious.com!

Why not decide to update your settings, even if it’s only for a month or two?  How about Fun.com?  Kindness.com?  Or my new homepage after I decided to surrender to my work event and not make myself miserable all day – ForgetAboutIt.com?  You don’t even need Kung Fu Panda superpowers to get started.

Put Kung Fu Panda 2 on your list if you haven’t seen it yet.  You’ll be charmed, and it may give you a little food for thought.  In the words of the Soothsayer, “Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn’t make you who you are.  It is the rest of your story…who you choose to be.  So – who are you?”