Am I the only person who’s a little confused by Rihanna? One minute she’s walking the red carpet and performing on an awards show. The next, she’s exposing herself and cozying up, professionally and personally, to the man who viciously beat her, Chris Brown. Huffington Post UK has gone so far as to ask, “Rihanna Has Forgiven Chris Brown: Are We Right to Remain Angry On Her Behalf?”
It may be easy to overlook her behavior. After all, Rihanna is still in her twenties. She has a reputation for partying hard. Perhaps drugs and alcohol impair her better judgment. I mean, what can you say about tweets like, “U know life is great when u wake up at 9 am DRUNK!!!!!”
But the underlying emotions are much more complicated. In a recent interview with Oprah Winfrey she said about Chris, “I truly love him, so the main thing for me is that he is at peace.” I was struck by the kindness of her words. But then she went on, “I’m not at peace if he’s a little unhappy.” That was the point where my jaw dropped open.
Medical intuitive Caroline Myss teaches that every decision you make either integrates you or fragments you. Essentially you either becoming more aligned with your Higher Self, or become more disconnected. I couldn’t help thinking about Caroline’s statement as I read Rihanna’s quote. On the one hand, it seems like she’s trying to move forward with her life. New people. New situations. On the other hand, she’s left an important piece of herself permanently linked to Chris. Forgiving someone, and even wanting their happiness, doesn’t mean you need to remain in a dysfunctional relationship.
Maybe you haven’t been in a situation as extreme as Rihanna’s. However, look around and see if there’s something in your own life where you’ve inadvertently left something important behind. There’s a healthy way to acknowledge the lasting influence of someone or something without shattering your own life. Do you have something which needs to be reclaimed? This is the week! Maybe you can take some inspiration from writer Yasmin Mogahed: “I was giving my heart away to everything, until there was nothing left. As I grew spiritually, I also began to realize that I was not alone. There were many people who lived their lives entrapped by the same repeated patterns of heartbreak and disappointment that I did. What I learned from my own experience is that every heart can heal, and each moment is created to bring us closer to that transformative return.”