Category Archives: New Thought

Would You Say That To Me?

Posted on by Michelle Mains

One of my colleagues has a teen-age daughter.  She’s a beautiful girl.  Smart and fun, she has a warm, friendly personality, but she’s really struggling trying to keep up.

Her Mom mentioned one week that the mantra had become, “I’m ugly.  I’ll never be as pretty as Jordan.”

Next week: “I just can’t learn geometry!  I’m so stupid.  I’m never going to pass this class.”

And the week after that: “I never get invited to the best parties.  I guess I’m just not cool enough for the right people to like me.”

Did you have a similar adolescence?  I moaned as the stories kept coming in.  For a while, her Mom tried to comfort her.  But suddenly, she threw up her hands.  I was a little shocked – “What did you do instead?” I asked.  “I told her to knock it off.  I said – would you say that to me?”

“What did she say?”  I said.  My colleague answered: “Well, what could she say?  Of course she wouldn’t talk that way to me.  I told her if she wouldn’t talk that way to me then she shouldn’t talk that way to herself.  I realize she’s just complaining to her parents night after night, but I have to think there’s more to it.  If this is what she’s saying, what is she truly thinking?  She’s not perfect, but it’s hardly as bad as she’s making it sound.”

Do you find yourself getting into a loop like her daughter, even when things aren’t terrible?  Here are some of the everyday phrases I hear from people:

  • I wish I could go to Europe.  I never have enough money to take a great vacation.
  • I’d love to improve my golf game.  But I’m always too busy at work.
  • Well, I guess it’s back to the Gulag.  That’s what I call the office.

Can you imagine if you made similar assertions over someone else’s life?  Think of seeing beautiful travel pictures but saying to your friend, “Well, forget it – you’ll never be able to take a trip like that.”  Or saying to your brother, “I’d be happy to meet you at the driving range for a bucket of balls, but I know you haven’t done a good enough job at work today to leave at 6:00.  Why don’t you just stay at your desk?”  It may sound ridiculous, but mindless babbling can become your reality when you least expect it.

As I listened these casual statements, I thought how small changes could make such a difference.  How about – “I wish I could go to Europe.  I don’t have enough money this year, but I know a great vacation is coming.”  Or, “I’d love to improve my golf game.  I’m so busy at my job that I’ll have to make sure I book time for Saturday before the week gets away from me.”  And for that last bullet above?  Just drop it – don’t curse your workplace.

This week, I encourage you to turn some of that negative internal chatter around with affirmations, or better yet, stop before you speak it.  In the words of Mother Teresa, “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

My Say = My Way

Posted on by Michelle Mains

My friend, “Suzanne”, fell in love early and thought she was set for life.  Her husband, “Matt”, was a great guy. Well, most of the time.  Matt had a mistaken impression that Suzanne’s offhand comment, “I want you to be happy” meant “Feel free to do whatever you want.  If you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”  For Matt, being happy translated into spending long hours at the office, and out at dinners and events with clients.  He gave Suzanne whatever time and energy was left, which wasn’t much.  Their relationship cratered in short order.

Talking in the car one day about her starter marriage, she made an interesting comment.  “The problem in my marriage is that I didn’t have a voice,” she said defiantly.

I understood the importance of having an equal voice in the partnership.  At the same time, I was concerned about the way she was rewriting history.  Her husband was a very stubborn guy, not given to much compromise.  I worried about her romanticizing the situation.

We talked some more, and then I said, “Suzanne, if you had had a bigger voice in your marriage, you would have gotten divorced even earlier.”

I could tell she was stunned.  But after thinking about it for a couple of minutes, she reluctantly agreed.

Have you ever run into people with a similar belief?  Regrettably many people have gone too far and convinced themselves that simply speaking their truth is all that is needed in a situation.  As a professional negotiator, I can assure you that’s rarely the case.  Somehow people have forgotten that your opening presentation is just that – the opening.  There’s often a fair amount of listening and compromising that goes on before a contract gets signed.  I’ve almost never seen situations where my say = my way.

Think of the couple in “Speaking the Truth in Divine Timing” trying to discuss vacation plans.  Can you imagine the wife suggesting going to Hawaii and expecting to be met by her husband responding, “Oh yes.  Just go ahead and plan whatever you want.  After all, you’re speaking your truth!”

It may be a silly illustration above, but a couple of themes came forward as we talked more.  They’re worth remembering, whether you’re negotiating a big deal or a week long vacation.

There’s a joke about the electoral process in Chicago: “Vote early and often”.  In the first blush of love, Suzanne let her husband dominate conversations with his confidence and enthusiasm.  She often lacked the right words at the right time, waiting until she thought of the perfect expression hours or days later.  She usually wasn’t successful reviving the conversation; Matt thought everything was settled.  As the years progressed, once she voiced her opinion, it wasn’t a whisper, it was a roar.

Also, in forcing her point with Matt, Suzanne forgot to leave room for a better idea, even if it wasn’t her ideal scene.  After all, Matt was a sharp guy.  He was fantastic about finding clever and amicable solutions.  But having been turned down over small things time and again, Suzanne refused to give an inch to Matt’s suggestions.  She began to see even the smallest compromise as selling out.  The bitter root of resentment began to grow, and it bore fruit in every area: their words, their actions and everything in their home had the same bitterness.

I’m sorry things didn’t work out for Suzanne, but she’s found her true voice, and it’s a beautiful one.  This week, think about using the ideas above before you issue an ultimatum.  In the words of Winston Churchill, “Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary.  It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body.  It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”

Waiting For Offense

Posted on by Michelle Mains

On one of my trips to New York, I saw the fabulous Janet McTeer and Harriet Walter in the American debut of “Mary Stuart.”  This historical drama is yet another fictionalized account of the troubled relationship between Mary, Queen of Scots and Elizabeth I.  What a night – dramatic and intense, with incredible performances.  But also long…

I found myself in a row with a couple and their father-in-law.  The play was going along nicely until late in the second act.  We were closing in on the three hour mark, and I heard the woman sneeze.  And sneeze again.  And again.  I glanced over to see her husband shuffle in his seat.  For a moment I thought he was going to offer her a handkerchief.  But he just sat there.  In fact, he shot an annoyed glance in her direction.

I have allergies from time to time, so I usually carry some Kleenex around.  I reached into my bag, pulled out the Kleenex and gave it to the father-in-law sitting next to me.  He looked at me oddly until I pointed at his daughter-in-law.  He quietly shook his head in agreement and gave her the tissue.

I almost didn’t pass it down to her.  As I reached in my bag, a couple of things quickly crossed my mind: “Are you sure you want to do this?  It’s New York.  She’s probably going to be incensed!”  On the other hand, she really seemed to be struggling.  I expected a “How dare you…” as the curtain came up.  Instead, she turned to me before heading down the aisle, gave a big smile and gushed, “Oh – thanks so much for that tissue!  I could tell the play wasn’t wrapping up soon and I just kept sneezing!”  Her reaction was the total opposite of what I expected; she couldn’t have been nicer.

It’s a simple story, but a good illustration about waiting for offense.  Do you know people who seem to have one confrontation after another?  No matter where they go, they always seem to run into someone or something that really bothers them.  And then they just have to say something.  Here are some situations that have crossed my path in the last couple of months:

  • A sales clerk offers to help someone as they make their way through a high end department store, only to be met with, “Are you following me?”  (Sorry, that can happen when people work on commission.)
  • A friend offers to help their neighbor shovel the sidewalk, only to hear an irritable response of, “I keep my place up – you don’t need to do that!”
  • A co-worker makes a flip comment trying to be funny, and then the conversation turns ugly.  Suddenly they’re met with, “Are you insulting me?!”

This week, take a breath if a conversation goes south.  It’s possible the person you’re dealing with just doesn’t have the right words at the right time.  Or maybe it’s just a simple mistake.  Give them the benefit of the doubt and consider that their intentions are good, even if their actions are lacking. Before you lash out, or if you’re worried about extending yourself in the first place like I was, recall that nice lady in New York.  Remember the warning of “Peter Principle” author, Dr. Laurence J. Peter: Speak when you are angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

Speaking the Truth in Divine Timing

Posted on by Michelle Mains

One of the gals at the office, “Linda,” got married a year ago, and we were catching up about married life over lunch.  “I finally learned not to talk to my husband about anything serious after 9:00.”

“Really – what’s the problem?” I asked, fearing the worst.

“Oh – it’s not as bad as it sounds.  He just doesn’t listen to me at that time of night.  He’s tired, he’s ready to watch SportsCenter and just go to bed.  I think I’m finally getting the hang of it, though.”

“You are?” I said.   “What’s the trick?”

“I give him time to process.  I usually warn him a couple of days ahead.  I’ll say – We’re sitting down on Tuesday night and discussing vacation over dinner.  In 10 minutes we work out vacation plans that would have taken us a week in half-baked hallway conversations.  I like having things resolved, and he gets to crash at night.  It’s the perfect arrangement,” she laughed.

Linda makes a good point, and she gave me the theme for this month: The right words at the right time.  Speaking your truth is a popular topic.  Getting things off your chest can be important, but it’s only half the battle.  Iyanla Vanzant uses a four question process before having a heart-to-heart conversation:

  • Does something need to be said?
  • Does something need to be said by me?
  • Does something need to be said by me right now?
  • Can I say it in a way that I would like to hear it?

When I first heard this method, I struggled with the last question.  After a while, it hit me – it’s probably more important to speak your truth in a way the other person can hear it.

This is what happened to Linda.  She’s a natural night owl, so she wanted to have long, intricate conversations as she was hitting her stride after sundown.  Her husband, on the other hand, is winding down the minute the dinner dishes are done.  They needed to find some common ground for communication, especially when it was a sensitive subject.

Linda’s open-minded, intentional approach also gave them a chance to really listen to each other and have a dialogue.  Can you imagine the response Linda would have received if she insisted that they go to Hawaii at 10:00 at night?  She may have thought she was suggesting a romantic, relaxing vacation while her husband felt badgered and manipulated into a high ticket, big decision as he was trying to go to bed.  Or can you see the spontaneous, bitter argument they might have had if he was adamant about going camping instead?  Since they weren’t rushing or having a sniper conversation in the hallway, they could amicably and even gently work through contentious points before they became hardened grievances.

This week, consider asking for some Divine guidance about not only what to say, but how and when to say it.  Ask for help in sending your message in a way that can be fully received by the other person.  Here’s a quick 5-sentence affirmative prayer to take with you:

I affirm that I am communicating authentically, with grace and ease.

The right time for this conversation is making itself apparent, and I am so grateful.

I am open to the highest solution, even if it isn’t what I have in mind right now. 

Everyone involved will be blessed and satisfied by the outcome.

And so it is.

Get a Style Icon

Posted on by Michelle Mains

Career coach Betsy Gutting recently told a heartbreaking story on her radio show about her daughter’s college art class.  The professor had a unique way to provide feedback.  He liked to critique everyone’s project in front of the rest of the class.  Stroke by stroke, one by one.  Talk about nerve wracking.  It was no surprise when her daughter began to get anxious about going to class.  Instead of being inspired by the work of others and encouraged by her teacher, she anticipated the worst.  Unfortunately her intuition was right.  One day her professor asked her after a minutes long tirade, “So, what do you think about this painting is right?”

I groaned aloud as I listened.  I had been a victim of a similar teacher in grade school.  My cooking skills are fine, but sewing has never been a great talent of mine.  At one point my Home Economics teacher turned to me and said, “Do you feel like a failure?”  Luckily I was able to let her comments go in one ear and out the other. My adolescent snark was in full bloom as I thought to myself, “I play multiple instruments.  I sing in more than one choir.  I do things every day that you don’t even consider doing.  Don’t you feel like a failure?”  She was only interested in my results in her class, not the whole student.

The college art teacher reminded me of the “You’re Not Special” high school commencement speaker last year.  Have you had a similar experience?  What I’ll encourage you to do, as I would encourage Betsy’s daughter, is to listen politely, then pick yourself up, move on and find a style icon.  This phrase is usually used in fashion, but I’ve found it helpful to find style icons throughout my life, especially if you’re working on manifesting certain experiences.

Sometimes my style icons are celebrities.  When I think about wanting to age with grace, good humor and constant creativity, I think of Chita Rivera, Rita Moreno and Betty White.  When I look at a successful writer embracing a corporate career, I think of Scott Turow (still practicing pro bono in between books).  And when I consider people who are the picture of health, I instantly see vibrant Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz from Florida, a breast cancer survivor.

And don’t forget the style icons down the hall or in your neighborhood.  You know the people I’m talking about.  The person who uses humor well in a meeting.  The neighbor who always has a beautiful front lawn and a kind word.  And the colleague who takes an extra minute after a meeting to ask sincerely, “How are things going? Are you doing all right?”  It’s as important to manifest these qualities as it is to manifest experiences or material things.

It’s possible that the now famous critiqued painting could have been better, but that’s not the takeaway here.  Likewise, I may still be a failure in the eyes of my Home Ec teacher: no one would ever hire me to hem their pants.  But I’m happy to tell you in the years since that conversation I’ve not only grown, I’ve thrived.  This week, try creating a life where you’re demonstrating all the best elements of your style icons in your own unique way.  As author Steve Maraboli says, “Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past.  Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you become from it.”

Too Motivated By the Miracle

Posted on by Michelle Mains

During the recession, my friend “Jill” got laid off.  She has a deep spiritual practice, so I wasn’t surprised to hear her talk about things positively.

“I know my boss had been struggling for quite a while.  There were rumors he would let the administrative staff go.  After all, the company is so small that a lot of our work can be done by the sales reps.” I admired her compassion.  Jill continued, “I’m sure something new will come up.  I’m always taken care of.”  There was something about that last phrase that made me pause, but I let the comment pass.

We ended our conversation, and I checked in with her a few weeks later.  “Hey – how’s the job hunt going?” I asked.  “Well, kind of slow.  I haven’t really found anything interesting.”  “That’s too bad,” I said.  Do you have any interview requests?”  “No,” she answered.  “There’s nothing worth applying for,” before she quickly changed the subject.  Again, I was a little surprise by her response, but I figured she needed to do things at her own pace.

About a month later we had the same conversation.  I finally had to ask – “Umm…how are things going financially?  I mean, are you ok?”  Jill answered, “The severance package is drying up, but I’m not worried.  I know I’m always taken care of.”

I had to admire her faith, but her passive behavior concerned me.  Have you ever known someone like this?  Someone who is so convinced in Divine intervention that they don’t take earthly actions? Maybe they’re too motivated by the miracle.

I’m in favor of miracles.  I’m a firm believer of synchronicities, but I’ve also come to understand that there are plenty of situations that may be a little more miraculous than they appear.

As the months wore on, it was painful to watch Jill insist on navigating her situation alone.  She was so sure that the Universe would line things up for her that she didn’t stay in touch with former colleagues.  They may have known about a miraculous opening for her, but they didn’t know she was still looking for work.

She also brushed off her intuition about other industries.  There was a spark as we talked one afternoon about using her skills in a new business, but she didn’t apply for something unless it was a perfect fit with her past.  Her rational mind overruled miraculous inspiration from Spirit every time.

Unfortunately Jill’s unemployment stretch lasted for years.  But she was able to manifest one thing – she has been taken care of as she consistently affirmed.  She’s currently living with her parents.

This week, engage Spirit as your partner and marry manifesting with the small, beautiful miracles waiting to happen all around you.  That piece of information that comes just in time for the difficult meeting.  The person who calls you out of the blue and gives you 2 minutes of encouragement that suddenly lifts your whole day.  The changes in nature as Spring is determined to break through.  Keep an open mind like Dr. Robert Schuller: “Impossible situations can become possible miracles.”

You’re Not Making a Million Dollars

Posted on by Michelle Mains

Author Barbara De Angelis was a popular talk radio host when I lived in LA.  She crossed my mind one day, so I pulled up a couple of her talks on YouTube.  In one of the videos, she told an interesting story about running into her former husband, John Gray (author of the “Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” series), at an event.  In between speeches, they took some time to catch up.

As they talked casually, they discussed the success of “The Secret”, which was breaking sales records at the time, and the developing cultural fascination with the law of attraction.  Creative visualization was not a new concept to either one of them.  In fact, they were a little stunned by the new, overboard mentality of “use creative visualization to think it, and then you’ll suddenly attract whatever you want.”  Some teachers were advocating creative visualization simply as a way to make money – and big, instant money at that.  Barbara and John came to an interesting conclusion – blindly endorsing this thinking for everyone in the conference audience was shallow at best, and even a little dangerous if it re-routed their true path.

It’s a fascinating observation.  I think it resonated with me since I’ve seen it in person.  I got to know “Donna” many years ago.  At one point, she decided she wanted to pursue songwriting full-time and thought living in Nashville might be the right path.  Part of the year, she toured the state fair circuit.  The rest of the year, she temped and worked on songwriting.

Ever a pragmatist, after several slow years Donna decided to abandon her dream.  She moved back to her home state to be closer to family, and started contract work for a Fortune 500 company.  Ultimately she got a bug to get her Master’s in Education and a teaching certificate.  She beautifully wove together all of her skills – organization, love of the creative arts, and effective, intelligent communication – by becoming a drama teacher.  It’s astonishing to watch what “her kids” do every year.  Amazing productions like “Phantom of the Opera” and “Little Shop of Horrors.”

Donna has plenty of ups and downs in her job.  For every student who has a creative light go on, there are two or three who have an equally bad attitude.  But whenever we connect I can tell how much she loves her work.  There’s no doubt in my mind that she’s gone from envisioning possibilities to creating a fulfilling path, step by step.  Truly the perfect road for her. And likewise, I’m confident that she’s never making a million dollars.

If making a million dollars is really in your heart, go for it.  But have you considered that having the money is really just a side effect?  This week, contemplate what you’re really interested in manifesting.  Like Donna, maybe it’s an environment that welcomes your creative expression.  Less stress than you have in your current job.  Heartfelt and appreciative connections.  If you focus on experiences rather than money alone, making the million dollars could be a natural outcome.  At the very least, you’ll skip the frantic tunnel vision of people who can only see dollar signs.  Be inspired by author Stephen Richards, “No matter how small you start, dream big.”

Work It, Girl

Posted on by Michelle Mains

Reverend Kathianne Lewis at the Center for Spiritual Living likes to promote the concept of “a high and holy intention”.  When I first heard her, I thought this idea might be too lofty for me, but then everything fell into place.  “A high and holy intention” means that you’re inspired about a goal, but realize you’ll need help from the Divine.  In short, if you can get it done under your own efforts, it probably isn’t a high and holy intention.

I have to agree with her.  Unfortunately the concept of manifesting has gotten a bad name over the last few years, and rightfully so.  It’s often a manipulative chase for money, power and position; hardly spiritual pursuits.

I saw this concept at work many years ago.  A friend of mine was unhappy about the support he was receiving from another team.   He aggressively argued that business could be improved if only there were more people.  I caught up with him about a month later.  He was thrilled – he was getting the additional team members he had requested!  He was sure he was finally on the right track.

And he was, but mostly he wasn’t.  In short order he had double the staff, but none of them knew anything about his business.  Educating everyone from scratch was going to take months.  His vision of closing business faster quickly went up in smoke.

I’ve made this mistake; have you?  On the positive side, your vision for the future is clear.  However, you’re so sure about “the only way to do it” that you can’t wait for the situation to unfold on its own.  You forget to leave some room for a better idea to present itself.  And the most important ingredient is missing – you don’t take the time to engage Spirit as your high and holy intention partner.

This is what happened to my friend.  He came into the room guns blazing, demanding more people.  His argument was compelling, but he forgot to engage the team lead as his advocate.  It was possible she had the right staff who could have been reassigned to him, but he wasn’t interested in her opinion.  So she let the chips land.  Oh yes, he manifested, but he didn’t get seasoned team members who were the caliber of his prior support; he got a team of rookies instead.

Leave the phrase, “Work it, Girl” for the fashion runway, not your spiritual life.  Let me set the theme for this month, “March is for Manifesting”, by closing with a beautiful quote from Outrageous Openness author Tosha Silver:

Invoking Divine Order is neither about attached pursuit nor downtrodden passivity.  You align with the highest outcome and let yourself be guided to the right actions at the right time.  And sometimes with a specific problem, the correct route is simply “wait.”  You’ll know when a door opens.  But if you trust that all needs are already Divinely answered, you NEVER have to convince anyone, change their mind, or prove your worth.  Those situations and people in energetic harmony with you already instinctively know and arrive happily at the right time.  You can relax and enjoy the ride.

I’m Wide Awake

Posted on by Michelle Mains

Someone I used to work with crossed my mind the other day.  It was a painful memory.  They had a short but tumultuous stay, and there was a fair amount of flame throwing on the way out the door.

It was easy to find The Flamethrower online.  A couple of clicks later, I saw that their career hadn’t gone well over the last ten years.  Their marriage had also ended.  It would be easy to think that karma had finally caught up with them, but if I took a self-righteous and ugly attitude, I’d be missing all the lessons they gave me.  All the difficult moments where I could ultimately use this month’s theme and say: “This is for my Good.”

It can be hard to be “wide awake”, as Katy Perry says.  Ignoring or diminishing what’s happening is easy.  It’s much more challenging to live a life where you’re clear minded and understand how you’re affecting other people.  But failing to have awareness only ensures that you’re going to have the same experience over and over.  Can you imagine running away from the difficult person, only to find two, three, or five people just like them on your next job?  Maybe this is the person teaching you how to say in the future, “This?  This…is Nothing!”

That’s what happened for me.  The Flamethrower didn’t communicate much, so I woke up to how much I valued people who worked in an open and honest way, even when the situation was difficult.  Watching The Flamethrower struggle with tasks other team members breezed through made me wake up to how important it was to deeply understand my work.  And I woke up to how important it was to keep doing your best day after day, even in hard circumstances.  The reputation I built working after hours may have ultimately saved my job.

This week, you may be facing someone similar.  But don’t rush to drown your sorrows in your favorite cocktail.  Instead, take a breath and embrace this moment as the time you became fully awake.  The moment where there was no turning back to a dull life filled with fuzzy vision.  Or simply the day you could turn Katy up and sing at the top of your lungs, “I’m not blind anymore.”

I’m sending you some good vibes knowing that your situation is already working out better than you could have imagined.  (If it’s any consolation, mine did.) In the words of peace activist William Sloane Coffin, “Courage means being well aware of the worst that can happen, being scared almost to death, and then doing the right thing anyhow.”

My Bag Is Too Heavy

Posted on by Michelle Mains

About a year ago I got a new job, so I took myself out for a little celebratory shopping.  I saw an affordable messenger bag at one of the mall stores and justified it with, “I may need to take my computer to meetings more often.  It would be great to have a bag in the office that’s always ready to go.”

So I bought the messenger and left it at the office.  Where it sat.  Day after day.  On the one hand, I was right about needing it.  On the other hand, though, I started to feel a little guilty about how rarely I used it.

Time went by and I got a nylon briefcase from Sherpani to use as a boarding bag when I travel.  It’s light as a feather, and has a lot of organization.  But the oddest thing happened.  I picked up my messenger one day to go to a meeting, and was stunned how heavy it was.  It’s a beautiful fabric, but it’s literally twice the weight of the Sherpani.  My computer was already heavy enough.  Why was I weighing myself down, even if I only used the messenger occasionally?

My story is a simple illustration, but Mary Morrissey shared a similar idea in her OmTimes article, “You Deserve Your Dream: Building Self-Confidence to Meet Your Goals.”

Stepping into your dream life is nearly impossible if you’re carrying deadweight.  When you bring your past problems and the belief that you’re unlovable along with you, you have no room for new possibilities.  Set your obstacles free by acknowledging them and then releasing them, knowing that they no longer serve you.

This week, are you facing a situation like I was?  For me, the deadweight was literal.  However, making the change was as easy as putting the messenger bag which was just fine a year ago into the charity bin.  Can you do something equally simple?

Let me get you started.  Those great ideas that you have written on a post-it note, or a little notebook?  Maybe it’s time to consolidate them in one place so you can get started writing your first book.  Or this may be the week you finally look into joining that softball league that’s going to start up in a few months.  Do you need to go a little deeper?  How about being able to finally find peace with a resentment you’ve been carrying?

Christians celebrated Fat Tuesday last week and started their Lenten walk.  Many people make a habit of giving up something meaningful, but I like to think of Lent in a broader way, where we also let go of things holding us back as Mary Morrissey suggests.  Even if you don’t celebrate Lent, this is a natural time of the year to consider what is meant to remain behind, buried in the dark days of Winter.  Take a few minutes to look around your world – are you carrying something too heavy into your future?  Something where you find it difficult to say: This is for my Good?  Remember the idea of novelist Marcel Proust, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in making new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”