A former Lead once nominated me for a cross-team project requiring two half-day working sessions. I thought, No problem—two meetings are a piece of cake!
One brainstorming session led to another, and two days became months. Soon, the team was as annoyed as a bad family vacation. Instead of reaching our destination, we spent most of our time wandering and bickering. Can you relate?
In the February series, Relationship Audit, we’re looking at ways you can use people skills in personal relationships. Have you ever had a passion project that went sideways, like my v-team? Did you enthusiastically volunteer for a Parent Teacher Association or charity, only to wind up feeling frustrated and like you were going in circles?
Like that bad family trip, two unarticulated problems may be hiding in plain sight. First, there may be assumptions that participants have the same endpoint in mind. Second, there might be a belief that everyone knows the steps to get to the finish line.
A simple way to address these disconnects is to set road rules for the journey. You might be thinking, I’m onboard, but what if others think I’m pushy or demanding?
Those concerns are realistic, but here’s how to respond to a skeptic: Road rules are like your GPS. They’re worth having because they’re the fastest way to return home if you drift off course. Knowing your road rules will help avoid extra cycles and misunderstandings (and who wants more of those?!).
Between us, are you secretly on the other end of the spectrum thinking, I know exactly what this group / family / organization needs! That insight may be correct but try to temper your passionate enthusiasm. Apply the people skill of insight and transform what annoys you into turnarounds that will benefit the group. Then, take some smart shots rather than banging out a list of Go Do’s—that’s how to show wise judgment.
There are no hard and fast structures for road rules—but let me give you one note of caution. Some What ideas are so high-minded that they’re not actionable. So, while you’re striking a balance between being playful and descriptive, make it real by including a How.
And if you’re working on a project with hard deadlines, take a pro tip from Limitless Vision. In the article, “Why Your To-Do List is Lying to You,” they note that line items like “work on project” or “get organized” are hard to pin down. Shift “work on project” to a bite-size How, like “draft the first section of the report,” or “email the client with updates”. Voila—instant gratification!
So, set (or reset) your success principles by getting some snacks, bringing everyone around the table and setting a timer to work quickly. Get to getting with these starter ideas:
Having impact starts by having clarity—and that notion applies whether you’re shipping awesome products and services or trying to blend a family. So, showcase your thought leadership by helping everyone feel more confident and relaxed. Take charge of uncertainties that derail relationships by creating a personal set of road rules.