Kindergartener Philip Stephen Martelli has been a very busy guy. College basketball teams have been finishing up their regular season, which means his grandfather, Coach Phil Martelli, saved a seat for him at every St. Joseph Hawks game.
Phil Martelli is known for his routines. Laying his clothes out and getting dressed in a certain order. Saying a rosary or two, depending on the opponent. Everyone knew he needed plenty of space to stay in the zone. That was, until Philip and his family moved in with the Martellis in 2011.
Judy Martelli said, “I’ve noted a little bit of a change in him. One of the game days, I had to laugh because he was playing hide and seek. That would have never happened when our children were growing up.” The Martelli grandchildren have shaken up the house with their lightheartedness. Like the March series, The Clean Sweep, it’s been more than a flash; it’s a permanent shift. The tension that ruled their home during tough match ups? It’s as if Phil Martelli has said, “Check me out of that!”
“Check me out of that” is usually said as a joke, but it can be transformational. Phil Martelli used to think the only way he could coach effectively was by wearing a game face all day. He hasn’t lost his winning edge, but he’s allowing a few carefree moments to creep in. Do you also need to reconsider “it’s always been this way” habits?
Imagine going beyond the cosmetic. The Universe could be pushing you to check out of a fear keeping you in your comfort zone.
Carol poignantly talked about her daughter’s upcoming college graduation. Ashley is pursuing job opportunities on the East Coast, far away from the family home. Carol is proud of her daughter’s fiery, independent spirit. There’s no doubt about Ashley’s dynamic future.
Unexpectedly, her voice dropped. In the next breath she sighed, “Who am I if I’m not Mom?”
While Ashley is being challenged out in the world, Carol has been handed the ultimate interior makeover. It would be foolish to tear down the strong foundation she’s built. However, she’s stripping her emotional home down to the studs.
Carol has to find new ways to relate to now adult Ashley. “Mom”? Always. But she may start letting the Mom hotline ring a few more times before she responds. As comfortable as it may be, Carol understands that micro-managing her daughter’s life will keep Ashley a child. In the long run, that wouldn’t be healthy – for either one of them.
This is the week to detach from constraints, even if they served you once like Phil Martelli’s game day routine. This may be the moment “always” turns into “the old way.” Here are your guideposts: Joy. Peace. Being in the flow. Everything else? Check me out of that!