being yourself in relationships, healthy dating, healthy relationships, healthy self-love, mindfulness in romantic relationships, practicing mindfulness, romantic style icons, transforming dysfunctional relationships
“Big changes are in the air,” Lynda said to her boss.
“Oh really? Is there something I should put on my calendar…maybe 9 months from now?” Jill said, smiling.
“No. Nothing like that. I need to take a few days off to help Jamie sort through some things. He’s taking a job in Atlanta.”
Jill leaned back in her chair. Surely Lynda’s news was a mistake. Lynda and Jamie had been college sweethearts. Everything about their life seemed picture perfect – from the wedding pictures in Lynda’s office to their chic, high rise apartment. Maybe she misunderstood.
“You mean Jamie is taking an assignment. He’ll be back in Miami in a few months, right?”
“No – Jamie’s moving. The Atlanta office gave him an incredible opportunity. But things are great for me in Miami. It’s not far. We can take turns commuting,” Lynda said, trailing off.
“Lynda, where is this going? I don’t understand why Jamie can’t find something locally. To tell you the truth, I’m dumbfounded. I thought you were so close.”
Lynda shrugged her shoulders. “Well, we’re always together, but I’m not sure how close we are. We go dancing every weekend, but it’s one of the few highlights of our week. When the Atlanta job came up, Jamie said yes immediately and told me over dinner that night. It was like it never occurred to him that we should discuss it.”
“I guess I should have known a few months ago. When my cousins suggested getting a house in the Keys for the holidays, I jumped at the chance. Jamie kept hedging about his work schedule. We ended up spending most of the Christmas break apart.”
She sighed. “I’m not sure if we have a chance. Our parents, our aunts and uncles – almost everyone we know is divorced.”
Lynda’s dilemma points out a bigger issue for this month’s series, Your Naked Soul. How do you create healthy relationships if you don’t have any positive role models?
You would think a rock star wouldn’t put much effort into dating, but David Bowie was the exception. Supermodel Iman remembers, “His actions spoke louder. We were dating for two weeks, and I was coming from Paris. I got to LA at the airport, and the doors open to the plane and I come out and see all these people taking a picture of somebody. And he was standing there, flowers in hand, no security. He didn’t care if anyone saw.”
It’s time to reboot your “I do” by finding a few style icons who put the emphasis on “do.” If you’re not married, you can still put love into action.
What if Lynda and Jamie had known to ask important questions such as, “Is this choice good for my marriage? Is it kind?” before making big decisions? Understanding that negotiating is a natural part of any relationship might have kept them together.
Perhaps making quiet gestures like David Bowie is your style. Did you remember to take 60 seconds to pray for your partner’s happiness today?
Whether you go big or keep it small and elegant this week, there’s an invitation waiting for you. Do. Something.