Remember that quarrel with your spouse this morning?
Or the sarcastic, almost nasty disagreement you witnessed during the staff meeting?
Or your kind chit-chat with the barista?
You just had a holy conversation.
During October, we’ll talk about how to navigate all kinds of critical communications – whether you’re having a brief exchange or deep, “now that we’re really talking” moment in the series, Holy Conversations.
When you think of the phrase “holy conversations”, what pops into your mind? Maybe you immediately think of prayer. At the very least, you probably see yourself in a church setting. Or you could envision a beautiful moment out in nature. That’s a good start – they’re all opportunities for holy conversations.
However, a holy conversation isn’t limited to the moments when we’re calm or have the perfect thing to say. They also happen when we have the courage to get to the heart of the matter, awkwardly admit a truth we’ve known for a long time, or make a genuine connection.
Summer camp seemed to be going well for 12 year-old Kim until she tried to help two girls fix their sailboat. Within minutes, the girls were at odds as she interceded. The conversation quickly escalated and the girls began screaming at her to go away.
She recalls, “I’m always really good at doing that kind of stuff, and I looked at them and I could see what their problem was. I thought, “Well, these people are crazy.” What I do makes a whole lot more sense, so I must be better than them in some ways. I’m smarter. I can figure things out. They don’t know how to put up a sail on a sailboat; I can do that.”
She was shaken by the event for years. She said, “We believe our senses, so I didn’t know I was missing anything. If I’m seeing people talking, and it simply looks like people are talking, why should I think that they might be feeling angry or sad or anything, if I’m not sensing that?”
She sighs, “I had no clue what the problem was.”
Kim shared her childhood episode during treatment for Asperger’s syndrome. But don’t dismiss her story just because of her diagnosis. We’ve all had moments where we look back, shake our heads at our ignorance, lack of humility, or self-awareness and acknowledge, “I had no clue what the problem was.”
This week, build discernment by going beyond what is obvious to the senses. Take your sensitivity to the next level by checking in with your intuition.
You don’t have to go up on a mountain top or wait until Sunday. It’s a simple technique: Mid-conversation, ask yourself a straightforward question like, “What could make this better?”, “What does <name> need?” or “What’s really going on?” and then follow your impression.
Soon you’ll begin to quickly see and appreciate the true issue at hand. Chances are, it’s not about the sail.
The moment you connect with Divine Guidance is the moment of transformation. In an instant, you’ve created a holy conversation.