Educational psychologist Michele Borba had a simple mission: Find ways to help at-risk kids succeed. Her students couldn’t change their ongoing challenges, like having a difficult family situation or lacking financial advantages. However, they could develop traits that differentiated children who flourish from those who don’t.
The seven traits she identified helped students be authentic, thrive socially, and develop intellectual and emotional grit. Here’s the list, which are all soft skills:
Knowing the seven traits to thrive is only half the battle. Kids who flourished also had to have a drive to thrive. Borba stated, “Thrivers are made, not born.” Let me tell you about a couple who used the seven traits to thrive and turned a random day off into a lifelong passion.
Jane and Michael Stern didn’t set out to become food writers. They were simply looking for a great place to eat while they skipped college classes one day.
On their afternoon out, it occurred to them that truck drivers had the hookup on roadside diners. But after searching high and low for a guidebook, they came up empty.
Undeterred, they struck out on a road trip that would last for the next four decades. The upside was their bestseller, Roadfood, documenting popular regional dishes and restaurants. But the downside was that they blew through 38 cars in the process!
The Sterns aren’t coy about their skill set. Michael Stern readily admits they didn’t have a background in writing or food and had a steep learning curve along the way. However, what started as a lark became an all-consuming drive to learn about people in the food culture—from growing to creating dishes to serving—as well as themselves.
Stern reflected, “What you eat tells who you are, where you come from, what your values are, and what’s important in your community. All of that stuff is right there beyond the plate.”
In the June series, Three Ways to Thrive with Soft Skills, we’ve talked through how you can use soft skills to flourish. As you listen to the story about the making of Roadfood, can you identify how the Sterns used aspects of the seven traits necessary to flourish—like curiosity, empathy, and persistence?
It shows how developing soft skills isn’t something that happens up on a mountain top. To be successful, you must take your knowledge off the shelf and put it into play. That’s what the Sterns did: They used the essential qualities wherever they went.
So, as you think through the seven traits, where do you have a drive to thrive? Is there an aspirational quality you’d like to achieve, like greater self-control or an ability to follow through? Or are you ready to unveil your superpower to the world, like the compassion to stand in your customer’s shoes or the ability to negotiate with integrity?
Learning soft skills is as easy as 1, 2, 3! Here’s a recap of the three qualities we’ve highlighted along with soft skill How tactics to make that technique run:
Remember, “Thrivers are made, not born.” So don’t let setbacks or challenges be the boss of you. Act like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss—and drive positive traits with daily actions so you can thrive.