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3 Ways to Use Discernment

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The Container Store teaches its associates to approach customers in an unusual way. They avoid the age-old customer service question of, “Can I help you?” Instead, they ask, “What problem are you trying to solve?” They’ve learned that their customers don’t show up just to browse. They’re there to make a buying decision about a specific storage problem. You could say that customers aren’t there to make any choice—they’re there to make the right one.

In the July series, Soft Skills Basic Training, we’re talking about five major soft skill areas, including discernment. Discernment is more than reaching a quick judgment—it’s about making a smart one. Wikipedia describes it like this: “Discernment is the ability to obtain sharp perceptions or to judge well. . . discernment involves going past the mere perception of
something and making nuanced judgments about its properties or qualities. . . a discerning individual is considered to possess wisdom.”

Discernment Helps You Side-Step Mistakes

I once worked with a guy who had boundless energy. After Karl’s first month on the job, he mentioned over lunch that he had made a list of key players for potential 1:1s. Who was on the list? Almost 300 people!

A collective groan went up from the table. Jumping into three hundred meetings? That’s next to impossible, even if you’re doing it speed dating style in 15-minute increments.

Did Karl have the right idea about meeting heavy hitters face-to-face? Yes. Yet his execution plan was so taxing that it wasn’t wise—for anyone involved.

Karl’s story shows the power of combining discernment with the other top soft skills of adaptability, creativity, empathy, and healthy self-esteem. For instance, you can be flexible but never land on a decision because you waffle, seeing both sides of the story. You can be so creative that you jump from one project to another, never hitting on a priority. You can become so lost in compassion that you can’t tell when you should pull back and let others help themselves. And you can lose your sense of self constantly tending to other people’s needs.

However, discernment helps you side-step all those mistakes. You’re flexible, but know when to say no. You’re creative, but set priorities. And you demonstrate empathy and healthy self-esteem by being kind without taking on someone else’s responsibilities.

3 Takeaways

Life is filled with complexity and uncertainty. But shrewd choices can help you navigate that uncertainty. Use discernment to:

  • Understand if you’re at a turning point. Turning points aren’t lit up in neon—they’re often small, hard-to-see changes that require reflection.
  • Determine if you need more information. If your stomach is doing flip-flops or if you sense something is missing, sleep on it before you give your final yes or no.
  • Break down a choice into tasks and priorities. Take the right actions at the right time.

Poor decisions and rushing leads to repeats and do-overs, and no one has time for that! Remember that you’re the creative, wise CEO of your life. Make choices that matter.