5 Ways to Say, “I’m Willing to Learn and Grow”

Prefer to listen? Click here for the podcast.

World events have put everyone on edge, and now the tension and uncertainty are showing up in everyday communications. We need a reset! Who is a style icon for a common-sense approach to telling the truth, even when it comes to difficult topics? Mr. Rogers.

You may think, Too simplistic—Mr. Rogers doesn’t have to deal with my family and my boss! And you’d be right. But we can learn a lot from Fred Rogers’ gentle, common-sense approach. In the July series, Communication, The Mr. Rogers Way, we’ll talk about easy ways to improve your communication style.

Changing Your Mind and Maintaining Your Dignity Can Co-Exist

Right now, everyone is being encouraged to learn and grow. Examining and changing old patterns and beliefs are more than making the politically correct choice—they are a real-time demonstration of how to use the soft skill of adaptability.

Mr. Rogers described it this way: “Growing means when you’re a baby, and you’re angry, all you can do is scream and kick. That’s all. But when you get a little older, you can say that you’re angry. You can stomp around and make up a dance, or pound some clay and make things out of clay, and sing a song, or write a poem. That’s what it means to grow. I’m proud of the way you’re growing and changing.”

Mr. Rogers makes growing and changing sound easy, but the grown-up world is filled with serious blocks that stop us. You might be concerned that changing or even reversing direction will make you look indecisive. That shifting course could be embarrassing. Or that others might misconstrue your flexibility as weakness. But here’s the good news: Changing your mind and maintaining your dignity can co-exist.

Five Ways to Shift a Fixed Mindset

Being adaptable gives you time to examine your options. It’s the bridge between closed certainty and free-flowing conversations—that’s why I use this soft skill when I’m negotiating deals. Flexibility is also the idea behind the Soul Boss principle of calibrating your behavior—turn the volume up or down on what you have to say without losing your authenticity.

Communicating that you are willing to learn and grow is easier than you think. Here are five ways to shift common fixed mindset statements:

• “I know what I believe,” becomes “I didn’t know I didn’t have the whole story. I’m willing to take a second look.”
• “I’m sure about this subject,” becomes “The situation changed since our last conversation. I learned something new today.”
• “I know what I’m talking about,” becomes “I did it differently in the past, but I reserve the right to get smarter.”
• “I shut that conversation down,” becomes “You make a strong argument. I’ll consider what you said.”
• “This idea has worked for me for a long time,” becomes “I never thought of that issue that way—you’ve given me a new perspective.”

You can also reinforce your ability to be flexible with three simple affirmations:

1. When I feel myself slipping into old habits or thoughts, I course correct.
2. I stand up for myself without aggravating the situation.
3. I love learning. It’s easy for me to pick up new ways of doing things.

Smart communications aren’t about abandoning your opinion—they’re about finding a way to acknowledge the other person’s perspective and calm a tense room. So, the next time you find yourself feeling stuck or tongue-tied, skip the temptation to push and shove your way through the world. Instead, say what a creative, wise CEO would use as their go-to reply: “I’m learning.”