Advocate for Your Peace of Mind

The reaction was swift when Simone Biles cited wellness as her reason for pulling out of the Olympics. Dylan Hernandez at the LA Times flatly declared that Biles excelled as a human being but failed as a gymnast. Michelle Obama countered, encouraging Simone to use Michelle’s daily mantra: “Am I good enough? Yes, I am.” And Chef Jon Kung sent his support by tweeting, “What Simone Biles did for the sake of her mental health only makes everything she’s done up to this point even more incredible. She’s not a superhuman. She’s a person who achieved it all through work. Her willingness to choose herself is every bit as inspiring as her athleticism.”

Wellness can be a broad, hard-to-define term. But if you’ve shied away from self-care because you thought it was too soft, think again. Everyone needs caretaking every day—the trick is to create a body, mind, and spirit routine that is bespoke to you. That’s what we’ll talk about in the August Series, Become a Self-Care Advocate.

Let’s begin by thinking through three lessons that you can learn from an Olympian.

Three Lessons Learned about Being a Self-Care Advocate

Simone Biles modeled self-awareness, communication, and bravery—all ways to advocate for her mental and emotional wellness that you can use, too. For instance:

* Hone the self-awareness to know when you’re approaching your saturation limit. Over-saturation takes many forms—too much stimuli, too much to do, or even working too many days in a row. Start noticing what puts you on edge so you can adjust before you’re overloaded.

* Meter sensitive information. Back in the day, some issues were considered “a private matter,” and that’s a good starting place for complicated circumstances. Categorizing information as a private matter doesn’t mean hiding important facts or creating chaos. It’s simply making the smart choice about what to share with your audience. Think of it this way: Depending on who you’re talking to, sometimes the elevator pitch beats the deep dive.

* Sharpen your bravery. Knowing your limit and deciding your message is one thing. But they are only meaningful if you act on your own behalf.

Use Soft Skills to Advocate for Your Peace of Mind

Most of us won’t face hundreds of microphones or the glare of paparazzi. However, there will be times when you’ll feel like a professional athlete who has been put on the spot. The question isn’t whether stresses will come. It is how well you will cope with pressure when you feel triggered and tongue-tied.

As a professional negotiator, I’ve had to cultivate statements to maintain my emotional wellness when times are tense. Here are five go-to phrases which will help you buy time to transform confusion to calm in everyday situations, but they are just kickstarters. Take a few minutes to use the soft skill of creativity to brainstorm thoughtful, compassionate responses that reflect your voice.

1. When someone pressures you for instant answers, say, “You’ve given me a lot to think about. I’ll consider your proposal and get back to you.”
2. When you feel overwhelmed by too much data or inputs at once, say, “That’s a lot of information! Let’s go step-by-step, so nothing is missed.”
3. When you’re having trouble following, say, “You were speaking very quickly. Could you repeat the last part?”
4. When it seems like people are talking past each other with incorrect assumptions, say, “I want to make sure we have a common understanding. Let me recap.”
5. When there’s more to talk about in a difficult discussion, say, “This conversation is important. Let’s reconvene so we can give it the proper attention.”

Bryant McGill said, “Each positive thought is your refuge and sanctuary, where in that thoughtful moment, you are safe.” You make your best decisions when you feel relaxed and safe. So, the next time you begin feeling trapped or pushed, use those feelings in a positive way: They’re a heads-up from your gut that it’s time to start advocating for your peace of mind.