I saw a Pinterest pin that said simply, “I do hard things.” I thought to myself, Yeah, but the complete sentence is more like, “I do hard things—but only when I really, really have to!”
No one likes hard situations and difficult people. However, learning how to advocate for yourself is an essential part of understanding how to Raise Your Game, the topic for June. You can turn a soft spot into a strength by using the soft skill of healthy self-esteem to build your courage muscle.
My friend Shari was fuming when we met for coffee. “My boss has to step in to deal with the house buyers if I’m going to sell this property,” she complained.
“Wait—I thought your clients already signed the contract,” I said.
“They did, but after the inspection, the buyers are asking for everything from new gutters to a painting allowance. The sellers aren’t willing to make many concessions. And I’m stuck in the middle. I told him, ‘I need to be my clients’ friend, especially if I’m going to sell them their next house. I can’t have tough conversations like this!’ He said, ‘Shari, these situations happen every day in real estate. I’m sure you’ll find a creative way to make everyone happy.’ Then he went to lunch. Can you believe that?!”
It’s easy to get caught in the details about the budget and who is paying for what. But ultimately, Shari’s story isn’t about closing costs. Surprisingly, it’s not even about her boss. It’s about Shari’s opportunity to step into genuine power.
In an odd way, her boss did her a favor by refusing to act as her safety net. Shari was forced into speaking up for herself. Now she’s learning how to deal with unreasonable people and make smart concessions that align with her integrity and personal style. That kind of insight is the point of personal development work. It’s not about raising your game for a single situation. It’s about changing the game forever.
Act as the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss—and ditch old fears like, “Someone needs to do this for me.” Here’s how you can start:
If you’re facing a hard conversation, don’t wait for someone else to fight the good fight. You already have the best person on your side. You.