Blessings Ignored

Everything was set for my long weekend away until a couple of early snowstorms hit. Luckily, my friend was equally skeptical about the weather forecast. So, we skipped an all-day drive and went for massages and a long lunch.

My relaxation vibe evaporated the minute I received a surprise notice from the hotel, charging me a 100% cancellation fee for the festival weekend. Talk about an expensive lesson in reading the fine print! But I was done whining about my credit card bill the minute I saw footage of a traffic pile-up. We missed our trip, but it was a blessing in disguise.

The November series, The Art of Done, is focusing on healthy ways to detach and let go. When we talk about letting go, we usually talk about what we’ve lost. But focusing on the loss means we might be ignoring a blessing hiding in plain sight.

Meet Amanda

That’s what happened for my friend, Amanda. After a dating dry spell, she found Tony. Her social media feed was filled with pictures of them out and about. The glow on her face said, “This is serious.”

But then a text came her way that was clearly meant for someone else. It didn’t take much digging before she realized she was just one of several women Tony had been juggling. After a week of tears, they parted ways.

You might hear Amanda’s story and think, Poor thing! Tony was a jerk! But their break-up was just one part of the story. Six months later, Tony has gone from The One to a footnote. Is she done with love? Hardly. But she is done with the false conclusion that only Tony can make her happy.

Release False Conclusions

Are you missing a blessing because you’ve made a false conclusion about where your happiness lies? Let’s look at some examples to understand what Life may be pushing you to release:

• You were upset when you were passed over for a promotion. But the blessing is that your professional life is now at a higher level;
• You were mad when you didn’t qualify for that killer apartment. But the blessing is that the rigorous credit process changed the way you manage your finances; or
• You’ve been longing for the one you got away. But, like Amanda, the blessing is that you’ve chosen self-worth over staying with someone who considers you an option.

Use Healthy Self-Confidence to Find the Blessing

Decide that you’re done with having a one-time loss become the boss of how you feel about yourself. Use the skill of healthy self-confidence to find blessings you may have ignored. Here are three ways to do that:

• Make it fast by taking 30 seconds to see if you can reframe a situation to find a surprise blessing.
• Make it deep by reflecting on a time when hanging on to regrets held you back from seeing new opportunities and friendships.
• Make it real by finding 10 blessings every day this week.

Bid a fond farewell to those woulda, coulda, shoulda thoughts about what would have made you happy. You may be luckier than you think.