The women behind me in the coffee line were comparing notes about their husbands, and the talk wasn’t good. Suddenly I heard, “It’s just a string of compromises!”
Of course, the woman is right—relationships are full of give and take. But in her case, it sounded like she was the one always giving in. No wonder she was irritated!
Dolly Parton can tell you a lot about the toll constantly giving in can take. Dolly was a seasoned performer by the time she partnered with country music superstar Porter Wagoner. On paper, the duo looked ideal. “The Porter Wagoner Show” was already a bonafide hit, but when Dolly came onboard, the audience exploded. Their first single reached the Top 10 and they kept the streak going for the next six years.
However, behind the scenes, their relationship was more of a dictatorship than a democracy. Parton remembers, “He was in charge, and it was his show, but he was also very strong-willed. That’s why we fought like crazy—because I wouldn’t put up with a bunch of stuff. Out of respect for him, I knew he was the boss, and I would go along to where I felt this was reasonable for me.” She shook her head saying, “Porter would not listen.”
Parton eventually convinced Wagoner it was best to end their professional affiliation. Her song, “I Will Always Love You,” was written as their farewell. Although Elvis Presley expressed interest, Dolly decided to keep it when Elvis’ manager insisted on half of the publishing rights. In short order, Dolly left “The Porter Wagoner Show,” recorded “I Will Always Love You,” and made millions from the royalties she refused to sign away.
Dolly Parton’s story is important for the February series, Four Partnership Builders, because it shows the soft skill of healthy self-esteem in action.
No two people agree 100% of the time, whether you’re involved romantically or professionally. However, what you can learn from Dolly is that solid partnerships happen when there is respect for each person’s authentic self. Trying to shapeshift to fit someone else’s mold is exasperating—it simply won’t work in the long run.
Are you welcoming healthy, respectful give-and-take in your partnerships? Check in using these self-esteem techniques:
This month, we’ve seen that strong partnerships all have a common thread, and that is courage. Courage to use soft skills to listen. Courage to show your vulnerabilities. And courage to cultivate mutual respect. Here’s a summary of the four partnership builders:
Great partnerships don’t happen by accident. So, take charge of your relationships like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss—and apply advice from Henry Ford: “Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.”