In the political movie, “Wag the Dog,” Dustin Hoffman plays a movie producer with a long series of mishaps. However, those mistakes have given him a thick skin—while others get upset, he can always one-up them with a story about something much, much worse. His go-to phrase is, “This? This is nothing!”
“This is nothing!” is a phrase worth remembering when setbacks happen. With soft skills, you can change from replaying all the challenges and feeling sad or defeated to realizing how far you’ve come.
Let me help you brush up your mindset about setbacks with an incredible comeback story.
Saying Ginny Burton grew up the hard way is an understatement. Her mother gave her marijuana at the age of 6, and she was hooked. By the time she hit junior high, she was addicted to crack.
She bounced in and out of jail, lost custody of her three children, and became dependent on heroin. Remembering that time, she says, “I’d let myself down for so long. I always felt people like me from broken homes don’t get to have good things.”
But now, Ginny has left a limited mindset in the past. After 8 years of sobriety, she was thrilled to complete a degree in political science from the University of Washington. To celebrate, she put an unusual post on Facebook: a photo of an old mug shot beside her new graduation picture.
She wrote, “How about that for motivation. I honestly thought I’d die on a park bench with a needle in my arm or by gunshot to the head. I would’ve never, in a million years, thought my life would look the way it does today. Stop selling yourself short. You don’t know what tomorrow might bring, so you might consider starting today.”
Ginny is optimistic about the future. She raves, “I’m like this new creation. Today, I really feel like I am the person that I always knew was in my heart.”
Ginny Burton’s turnaround is nothing short of remarkable. But you don’t need to be in recovery to relate to her story. We all have times we let ourselves down or sell ourselves short after a setback. Some days, it seems easy to focus on our faults.
However, the way out is to use the soft skill of healthy self-esteem. Instead of putting the past under a microscope, start giving yourself credit for all the times you’ve made progress. Replace thoughts about your shortcomings with memories of when you stayed true to the person you know is in your heart.
What situations used to diminish your self-image that you can look at today and say, “This? This is nothing!” How about:
* The troubled co-worker? You’ve stopped taking on their bad attitude or endless drama as your problem to fix.
* The misunderstanding with your kid? You’ve learned that there’s more to life than winning every argument. The point is to keep talking.
* And the awful, no-good day? You know that, like it or not, there’s more to come. Tomorrow’s another day, Scarlett!
In the past, problem people and situations may have felt like they were the boss of you. But with a slight change, you’ll find yourself saying, “That thing? It’s not a forever setback—I’ve got it covered. This is nothing!” Here are three ways to start:
In the July series, Brush Up Your Mindset, we’ve looked at small, elegant changes you can make which will bring big dividends. There’s a simple reason to understand and use soft skills: They’re life skills. When you know how to change your outlook with a smart choice, creativity, flexibility, compassion, and a positive self-image, problems don’t take on the same weight.
So, what did you used to believe out of hand that could use some re-evaluation? Here’s a recap of the four ways you can brush up your mindset:
As you ease into the post-pandemic world, brush up your etiquette and your clothes, but also take a second look at old beliefs and patterns. Act like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss— and empower yourself to switch up your viewpoint or tactics. One small change can make all the difference. Just remember: It only takes a minute to change your mind!