Build on Your Core

Prefer to listen? Click here for the: podcast.

Just between us, are you exhausted trying to become a completely new you? Here’s an idea: Build on your core—the best parts of you that are already working.

We all do something well. However, you might dismiss that little bit of something, something because it’s so easy. But big goals are a lot more manageable if you build on your core.

Your first thoughts about your core might be a technical skill like design or computer programming. However, having success also requires knowing what soft skills you excel at, like listening, problem-solving, or one many people struggle with, healthy self-esteem.

Meet Super Tenor Tshombe Selby

Self-confidence is part of tenor Tshombe Selby’s core. Selby’s insatiable love for music started as a child, but not everyone shared his enthusiasm. He laughs remembering neighbors who begged him to stop playing his keyboard on the front porch and mimicking his church choir.

Tshombe skipped the reality talent show circuit and spent years booking classical roles anywhere and everywhere he could—from regional opera companies to Carnegie Hall. Every job prepared him for the one he wanted most—onstage at what he calls the Super Bowl of opera, The Met.

In the meantime, he’s kept his bills paid by also working as an usher at The Met. It’s not just a job—it’s been a way to immerse himself in his passion. He says, “The Met is more than a stage—it’s all the people who make up the building. It really is a family, and they have all supported me so much.”

Soft Skills and Technical Skills are Equally Important

Tshombe’s story is an example of the October theme, Little by Little, because it shows that knowing when and how to flex your self-confidence muscle is just as important as knowing technical skills. So, the next time you’re feeling unsure or pushed, remember how Tshombe developed a thick skin to the opposition:

• To the person who gives you the side-eye about your goals? “Thanks, I’m on the right path.”
• To the person who asks you why you stick with it? “Thanks, I’m dedicated to my craft.”
• To people who shake their heads that you’re still working a day job? “Thanks, I’m responsible and accountable.”

Take the Self-Confidence Challenge

If you’re doing just fine on the self-confidence meter, take this week to think through other core strengths where you can build little by little. For instance:

• Make it fast by taking 30 seconds to declare, “I celebrate every accomplishment, large or small. I believe in myself.”
• Make it deep by taking 30 minutes to identify two core soft skills that you do well. Choose from big categories such as adaptability, creativity, discernment, empathy, and healthy self-esteem.
• Make it real by expanding your favorite core skill. It’s not separate from your goal—it’s a critical part of the foundation.

Don’t let the voice of a critic—whether that’s your mind playing tricks on you or someone else’s voice—become the boss of you. Dismiss myths like “too late,” “it will never happen,” or “not good enough.” You’re not done building yet.