Build Your Confidence on the Daily

Do you remember the story from Lean In, where a woman received surprising feedback that she was supposedly overbearing? The manager dug in for more information by posing a question about whether the same type of advice would hit different if it came from a guy. The team admitted that, yes, it would. And discovering that bias was the spark for Lean In.

In the January series, 4 Cs to Crush Your Intentions, we’re talking through a framework so you can crush your goals. Previously, we discussed applying Care, and Confidence is the second C.

Have you ever had a crisis of confidence like the Lean In story? That situation may have given you the a-ha moment that putting on a brave face is only half the battle. The other half is to have enough healthy self-esteem to keep moving forward. Without both sides of Confidence, your goals break.

But here’s the good news: Overcome challenges and meet your objectives by repurposing the same people skill How tactics you apply to other tough situations. You’re already halfway home by staying coachable, applying creative thinking, and making wise plans.

Let’s look at another example of how Confidence played out.

People Skills are the Antidote to Feeling Nervous

Guy Raz recently hosted a fascinating conversation with Tom Hanks. During the podcast, Hanks mentioned working with Paul Newman. By the time they teamed up, Newman was an icon. He had been nominated for Academy Awards for classic performances such as “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”, “The Hustler,” and “Cool Hand Luke.”

A hush fell over the “Road to Perdition” set as Newman prepared to shoot his first scene. He carefully began his lines and nailed it in a single take. But after the director yelled cut, Paul broke the tension by saying what was on everyone’s mind: “You always feel self-conscious that first day, don’t you?”

3 Ways to Build Your Confidence

In the past, you may have lost your way after a case of nerves. Did you wind up staying on the sidelines? Or did you swing to the other extreme and bring a “fake it ’til you make it” swagger? However, compromising isn’t a C to embrace as you set new goals.

There’s an alternative, and that is to expand what Confidence means to you. Envision yourself addressing the next challenge with style and soul. Imagine different keywords for Confidence, like being courageous, resolved, self-assured, and poised. Now, that’s the way to boss up!

By the way, that’s what happened to the woman in Lean In. After reflecting on the feedback, she decided to stand firm and own her communication and problem-solving skills. Likewise, could you increase your Confidence and overcome bias by changing your mindset? Imagine a year of empowering thoughts like Yes, my lived experience has made me decisive, clear-minded, and thoughtful. Thanks for noticing!

Here are three hands-on ways to strengthen your Confidence muscle on the daily from my book, Light it Up: 7 Skills for Setting Intentions that Work:

1. Focus on the Metric that Matters: Try identifying one objective that will have a ripple effect rather than scattering your energy chasing ten goals at once. For instance, perhaps becoming a better communicator will help you ace two objectives: Improving your professional status and increasing your finances. (Did someone just shout, “Show me the money?!”)
2. Find Your How: Handle operations wisely by sketching out a lightweight plan. Complement your What with 3-5 How steps to keep you on track.
3. Plan Your Comeback: Jot down 1-2 insights after big milestones. Take the initiative to build on what you’ve learned—whether you’ve had a setback or blowout success. That’s how you get better and faster at tasks and problems that initially take a lot of time and brain power.

Do you want to hear a secret? Everyone worries about snags and setbacks (even Oscar winners!). But true Confidence isn’t about how well you flex—it’s also an inside job. So, make healthy Confidence part of how you crush every goal.