You’ve made it through to the end of January—congratulations! Just between us, how are those resolutions going? Are you working out most days of the week? Maybe not. Managing your money well? Perhaps you’re pushing that goal until after tax season. And staying on top of all your household chores? At my house, that one’s a “Whoops—nope!”
These simple examples tie into personal development. You’re not alone if skilling up is the last thing on your mind after a busy holiday season and pressured January. But here’s why you want to hit restart: Whatever you view as a “maybe, someday, nice to have” probably won’t get done. Ignoring your baseboards may be ok, but you don’t want to leave your career to chance!
Let’s meet someone who transformed a “nice to have” mindset into a “must have.” She is overcoming the odds and permanently changing her life and the lives of her family.
Sarah called into “The Ramsey Show” in August of 2023, desperate for help. The unimaginable had happened: She became the family’s sole support after losing her husband in an accident, and her home was being foreclosed.
But by December, she and her four children were bouncing back. She initially thought managing money boiled down to dollars and cents. However, her biggest a-ha was that unwinding go-to behaviors and magical thinking were just as important as creating new habits.
She concluded her update call by saying, “I set my expectations for myself a little too high. I thought, I’ll just write it all down and I’ll get it right overnight and I’m good to go. And I didn’t realize how much those behaviors have to be unlearned.”
Like the case study, are you having mixed results? Here’s some food for thought: Maybe your expectations about how quickly you can master new skills are unreasonably high, and you’re pushing yourself too hard.
It’s time to bust the myth that soft skills are a “nice to have” that only count when you have instant knockout results. Instead, the straight talk is to switch to a “must have” mindset and take a step-by-step approach, which is more sustainable anyway.
Step one is building on competencies you use on the daily, such as communicating, being productive, or solving problems. Step two is to actively unwind old triggers, like getting snappy when ideas are challenged or being touchy if a colleague suggests edits to your project. Unlearning is as necessary and valuable as expanding.
In the January series, Straight Talk about Soft Skills, we’ve talked through three common misconceptions about soft skills (also known as work skills or people skills). We’ve busted urban myths left and right—here’s a recap:
The concepts that soft skills make you weak, put you at a disadvantage, or are a shady sales tactic are all tall tales (often told by people clinging to the old “crush ’em and kill ’em” model). So, decide you’re ready to act like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss— and invest in new competencies little by little. You’ll reach the end of the year with the self-confidence and poise necessary to meet tricky situations, the know-how to impact any project, and an unbeatable reputation.
Have you enjoyed this series? Keep the goodness going by discovering a new approach to skilling up. Check out my new book, Soft Skills Basics in a Flash.