My friend was happy to see her new neighbors settling in after years of one renter after another. But then she arrived home after a two-week vacation to see the row of newly planted bamboo trees. The family assured her they only wanted a privacy shield. They were correct, but the flip side was that bamboo is an incredibly invasive plant. As she feared, tiny shoots began to show up on her side of the fence. In no time, the whole family was on bamboo patrol, pulling up shoots before they took root.
The daily practice of personal development can be a lot like pulling bamboo shoots. It takes effort to consider your thoughts and actions. Taking time for personal development can seem like an indulgence when there are more important things to do. But without that daily investment, we lose the ability to see patterns as they develop. Before we know it, we have a blind spot, the topic of the May series, Crystal Clear.
Looking the wrong way almost had deadly consequences for a man in Sydney. His son told his story to Humans of New York:
My father had an ulcer that became infected. It was relatively simple to cure, but he refused to believe the doctors. Instead, he diagnosed himself with some sort of virus. He stopped taking his medicine. He created his own ointments instead.
He’s very intelligent so his reasoning could sound very convincing. It was hard to identify when it crossed the line into mental illness. But the infection never healed. He went from surfing and swimming every day to barely being able to walk. He aged twenty years. And still, he refused to go to a doctor.
He’d isolate himself from anyone who challenged him. When he finally collapsed and was admitted to a hospital, the doctors said he had the lowest red blood cell count they’d ever seen. Only then did he accept that things were out of his control.
He’s much healthier now. He’s almost back to normal. He’ll occasionally fall into the old script of defending his actions – but he manages to catch himself.
You might listen to his story and think, “Wasn’t it obvious that he needed to go to the hospital?” Perhaps. But let’s look at it using a compassionate lens. Did he avoid treatment simply because he felt anxious and vulnerable? Those are emotions no one likes to discuss.
As I re-read the post, I winced remembering my own blind spots. I’ve relied solely on facts and figures to solve a problem without taking time to connect to my internal wisdom. I’ve pushed back when people told me what I didn’t want to hear. And I’ve allowed pride to cloud my vision. How about you?
Right now, you could find yourself regretting past choices. Instead, be like the man in Sydney who learned that feeling defensive or nervous only means your instincts are kicking in, trying to help you get crystal clear about a hard truth. The next step isn’t to get down or angry. Just catch yourself.