“I just need to find that phone!”
It was hard to ignore the women at the next table. Their non-stop conversation just kept getting louder.
“Jennifer, you’ve only been with Liam for a few months. For heaven’s sake, after your break-up with Ron, I thought it was only a Summer fling.”
“Well, that’s the point. Amy, I thought Ron and I were going to get married. I never thought he’d take that job offer in Las Vegas and break up with me! OK, maybe I shouldn’t have moved in with Liam just months after Ron and I sold our house, but everything seemed like it was just meant to be. A couple of weeks ago, Liam was outside using a black phone. That doesn’t make sense. His iPhone is white.”
Amy rolled her eyes. “I hate to ask the obvious question, but did you ask him about it? Maybe it’s a second phone for work.”
“Of course I asked him. Liam said he lost his phone. Then he rushed out to run errands. I haven’t been able to get a straight answer out of him. He’s a quiet, private guy, and I want to respect that. But I still have so many questions. I tore the house apart looking for it,” Jennifer said desperately.
She sighed. “Why are all the guys I meet so shady?”
In the September series, Set the Tone, we’re talking about ways to get your life in order. Creating Divine Order requires weaving your beliefs, emotions, speech and actions together.
Jennifer thought that she simply wanted to be in love. However, her real belief was “I’d better accept anyone, because I can’t bear being alone.” When her belief collided with worry over Liam’s mystery phone, it was like setting a brushfire. Jennifer was controlled by her feelings, and her feelings were out of control.
NBCUniversal Cable Entertainment Chairman Bonnie Hammer was once driven by similar anxieties. At the age of 65, she’s mastered the art of powering her core values with passion. She said:
“As a working woman at the height of my career, I know age has only enhanced my professional and personal abilities. It has brought a sense of calm to the drive for success. The younger me was motivated by a need to please others, by the pressure to climb the corporate ladder and make money, and by a fear of failure – all of which became more and more intense as I navigated the competitive landscape. But today I feel far more focused, more intuitively decisive, much less afraid to take risks. In a way, I feel like I did when I first started in this business, guided by pure excitement and agenda-free passion.”
Take a few moments this week to check in with yourself. Are your feelings so overwhelming that you’re tempted to run a “CSI”-style investigation like Jennifer, or are you focused and intuitively decisive like Bonnie Hammer? As you set the tone for September, fuel your core beliefs with mindful emotion.