My take-out guy recently handed out some instant feedback. As I swung by to pick up some noodles to go, he casually asked, “How much Pad Thai do you eat?” I thought, Uhhh—maybe too much? Don’t you want me to come see you every week?!
It’s hard to admit, but he probably has a point! I had no idea I was wearing out my welcome. A happy accident turned into a happy habit, but now I’m stuck in a loop. You could say I’ve fallen into a fixed mindset.
Everyone gets in a rut now and then, but you can use the soft skill of self-awareness to navigate your way out. Let me tell you how a renowned comedian changed his summer vacation plans and shook up his fixed mindset for life.
“Everybody Loves Raymond” creator, writer, and producer Phil Rosenthal had a simple question for lead Ray Romano as they broke for hiatus: “Any plans?” Ray mentioned that the family had automatically booked their annual trip to the Jersey shore.
Ray’s instant answer caught Phil’s ear, and he shot back, “Do you ever consider going anywhere else?”
Rosenthal convinced the Romanos to try Italy, and they even made a side trip to visit extended family in Sicily. Ray still glows, talking about the summer where a few weeks off became the trip of a lifetime.
Phil has used his passion for travel as a springboard for his Netflix series, “Somebody Feed Phil,” which follows his culinary adventures across the globe. He’s traveled from New Orleans to Singapore, soaking up regional foods, trying his hand at everything from making tortillas to learning how to pour Guinness, and acclimating as fast as possible with local culture and activities.
But the punch line is that being adventurous doesn’t come naturally to Phil. Sometimes he has to take the advice he gave Ray Romano and push himself to try new things. He laughs, “My little joke is that the way I sold the show to Netflix is [by saying], ‘I’m exactly like Anthony Bourdain, if he was afraid of everything’.”
In the July series, From Fail to Guardrail, we’re discussing how you can put soft skills to work to avoid mistakes others have made. Knowing your beliefs, likes, and dislikes is a good thing. But sometimes you can have too much of a good thing.
For instance, I bet you’ve known plenty of people who have immediately shot down suggestions you made about another way to do things. They may have seen themselves as steady and consistent. However, their reputation may have been the opposite: So stubborn, inflexible, or fixated that they couldn’t see other possibilities.
A little reflection and insight can save you from making the same mistake. Everyone has habits or thinking that have gone stale. Acknowledge anything past its prime, then use soft skill How tactics like agility and creativity to change your perspective.
Here are three ways to change a fixed mindset fail into a guardrail:
When you become too sure of what you know, too convinced about what you like or dislike, and even unwilling to entertain the idea of traveling someplace new, you’re not reliable and dependable—you’ve hit a rut! So, use soft skills to start course correcting. Hitting a rut isn’t a fail, but staying there will be.