Thanksgiving is still a few days away, but are you already exhausted? Here’s a secret: Even chefs like shortcuts!
Brian Borneman, chef and co-owner of Crudo e Nudo debunked the myth about how easy it is to get a multi-course meal on the table by powering through in a single day. Instead of making everything from scratch, he recommended, “Save yourself on the dish duty and invite others to bring pumpkin pie and additional sides. Instead of constructing the day around kitchen masochism, have some bubbly rose at 10AM and pick one fun project, knowing full well that the rest is already done or delegated out.”
If you’ve ever tried making the picture-perfect holiday meal all on your own, you know that “kitchen masochism” sounds about right! But Chef Borneman’s advice about taking the pressure off goes for activities outside the kitchen, too.
Let me tell you how one woman said so long to the sabotaging belief that she had to power through chronic pain.
Two-time Olympian Aly Raisman used to brush off intense head pain, thinking it must result from the tight bun she wore to compete. But the pain continued with so much intensity that she finally sought out a neurologist. The help she received was part medical, part mindset.
Aly said, “For years, I’ve been struggling with nausea, fatigue, light sensitivity, and neck pain. As an athlete, I always powered through. I didn’t take the time to actually care for myself in the way I should have. If I had an injury, I’d try to just keep going, which I really don’t do anymore. I’ve had to untrain myself from doing that because it did not help me.”
Raisman is speaking out to encourage others, even if their issue isn’t chronic pain. She reflects, “There’s no harm in asking questions. It’s important to be our own advocate and get those answers. We all deserve to feel good.”
In the November series, So Long to Self-Sabotage, we’re talking about weeding out behaviors that might get in our way. Are you like Aly Raisman, where powering through is your default setting? Soft skills are a way to hit the reset button.
There are plenty of times when you must work through complex or challenging issues. But those situations call for strength, courage, determination, and grit. The tipping point is understanding the difference between having staying power vs. powering through at your expense—and that’s where soft skills of compassion and discernment come in.
Think how you would treat someone you managed. You wouldn’t force them into heroic efforts like putting on a big event for 20 people all alone. Instead, you would suggest which tasks to keep or delegate and advocate so they get the help they need—all kind, supportive choices!
Likewise, life changed for Aly Raisman when she turned the empathy she would extend toward others inward. Her breakthrough came when she understood the smart, kind choice was to untrain herself from worn-out patterns.
Is it time to untrain yourself from powering through problems? The tendency to put your head down and power through goes double during the holidays, where emotions always overflow! So, here’s your one-step solution when you feel tense, triggered, or feel your jaw go tight. Stop and ask yourself, “What do I need to do to shift this emotion and feel good?”
Here are seven options:
There’s a cost to powering through. So, make your mind up that this holiday season you’ll untrain yourself from pressuring and pushing. Show yourself kindness and commit to feeling good.