Download "How to Soft Skill" and start describing your soft skills impact! I want a FREE checklist!Click to join!

Disrupt Bad Habits

Prefer to listen? Click here for the: podcast.

Most people would envy Melinda’s evening routine. After dinner, the whole family would congregate in the kitchen, putting food away, and loading the dishwasher. The family thought kitchen clean-up was on track. After all, everyone pitched in. They had a good attitude. It got done.

But Melinda slowly noticed that she was the only one doing all the endless little tasks. Somehow, putting away pots and pans, storing food, and the last wipe of the countertops before turning out the lights fell to her. Night after night, she spent the last 15 minutes alone as her family quietly slipped away.

One night, she had an a-ha. In a spectacular Mom moment, she put her hands on her hips as her family started filing out and reminded them, “Hey, wait! We’re not done cleaning up yet!” And that’s the story of how Melinda and Bill Gates gave their kitchen clean-up routine a permanent reboot.

Insight is Only One Part of Wisdom

In the November series, Hack Your Day, we’re talking about how to use wisdom to get past hard days. When you think of the word “wisdom,” you may think it only relates to solitary moments of quiet or meditation, where you have flashes of insight. But insight is only part of the story—wisdom doesn’t come alive unless you take action.

That’s the lesson you can learn from Melinda Gates. Melinda had the good sense to see the habit forming, but she didn’t stop there. She disrupted that bad habit by calling a time-out before it went any further.

How Would You Encourage Someone Else?

Think of a situation you’re facing that’s off-kilter. Have thoughts like these taken over?

  • This is as good as it gets
  • I’ll just have to put up with it
  • I shouldn’t expect more

Now think of what you would say to someone facing the same situation. You wouldn’t tell them to settle. You’d encourage them to courageously stand up for themselves, just like Melinda Gates, and ask, “Wait a minute—this is isn’t working! How did I get here?”

Guess what—you can show yourself the same type of kindness. Because when you refuse to normalize what isn’t working, you hack one bad day from becoming every day.

Take the Empathy Challenge

Here are three ways to transform empathy from theory to reality:

  • Make it fast by taking 30 seconds to declare, “I know how and when to speak up for myself. I am honest, wise, and tactful.”
  • Make it deep by taking 30 minutes to think of a situation where you’ve given in one too many times. If you could go back in time, what would you try instead?
  • Make it real by trying your insight the next time the situation occurs. And there will be a next time!

The fine points of life can make or break your happiness. So, don’t allow problems to fester and saddle you with a give-up mindset—act as the creative, wise CEO of your life and disrupt that bad habit.