Don’t Let the Middle Throw You Off

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A friend couldn’t wait to tell me about his new book. It started with a splashy opening and ended with a heart-racing finish.

Of course, I wanted to see a preview! But he didn’t have a draft because he couldn’t figure out everything in between, which you could call the muddy middle.

Meet Dawn Nadeau

Dawn Nadeau had a personal version of the muddy middle. Her intention to create a beautiful home as well as the final result was clear in her mind. But she got stuck in the in-between every time. She would clear off a countertop or tidy a room but couldn’t get beyond what she calls “the top layer of stuff.” She’d feel frustrated or guilty and dig in all over again every few months.

Then she hired a professional organizer. A curious transformation happened as they worked together. She changed her space, but she also changed her mind. She shifted from pushing herself to get a perfect, clutter-free home in a single weekend to making space for grace. She says, “I recognize bottlenecks when they start and give myself permission to change a system that is not working.”

Routines that Work Must Make You Feel Good

The April series, Build Routines that Build You Up, is looking at how to make a stable foundation so you can reach your big goals. Dawn’s story shows that pushing yourself to do something through willpower or putting yourself down for not getting it done only goes so far. Routines that work must also make you feel good. For Dawn, celebrating steady, daily accomplishments, not agonizing over a stack of papers to go in the shredder, is a routine that builds her up.

Are you like Dawn, where you have heartfelt intentions but never seem to cross the finish line? Do you secretly worry you’ll always go around in circles? Don’t let a muddy middle throw you off. Instead, use the soft skill of empathy and be kind to yourself.

Think of a child stuck on homework. You wouldn’t stand over his or her shoulder. You’d help them backtrack to the problem spot, break the task down into small, actionable steps, and give them a high five for their accomplishments.

The Kindness Challenge

This week, take stock of your routine and get back in the groove with this challenge:

• Make it fast by taking 30 seconds to declare, “I show myself kindness for what I’ve done or left undone. Today is a new day.”

• Make it deep by taking 30 minutes to find one thing nagging you.

• Make it real by taking one action to address whatever bothers you most. If you can’t get up early to work out, hit the gym after work. Make a drop zone so you can get your work bag off the floor. Or be aware of and change your self-talk.

We all have a muddy middle—just don’t let it become the boss of you. Get out of that funk and back to feeling confident!