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Does your January feel like one step forward, two steps back? You’re in good company with bestselling author Anne Lamott. She described her struggles like this: “Me, trying to make any progress at all with family, in work, relationships, self-image: scootch, scootch, stall; scootch, stall, catastrophic reversal; bog, bog, scootch.” I read her comment and instantly thought, Some people are all talk, but Anne’s got the real talk!
Setbacks, self-doubt and imposter syndrome are a natural part of the creative process—that’s the secret #motivation posts don’t mention. So, instead of second guessing your 2020 intentions, define what those lessons mean to you. Personalize what you’re learning rather than keeping up appearances. That’s the truth Stacy London discovered.
Stacy has done it all in the fashion world, from styling celebrities to appearing on “What Not to Wear,” to editing magazines. With year after year of success, you wouldn’t think self-confidence would be an issue. But London winces when she remembers the years she yo-yo’d between anorexia and binge eating. She says, “In my twenties, I was so lost and unhappy in so many ways. I was trying to be cool and fabulous…instead of really grappling with what was causing all of the eating issues in my life. Instead of just worrying about the surface, I wasn’t asking the real questions.”
You might think staring down the real questions of life is too painful, but Stacy’s having more fun than ever. She’s philosophical about aging in an industry where looks are everything. She shrugs her shoulders and says, “I’m willing to give that up in order to have the knowledge and the confidence that I have now.”
In the January series, Turn the Corner, we’re talking about ways you can uplevel your intentions. The old way of setting intentions is to cover up or avoid self-doubt, but that’s ignoring your humanity. In its place, you can turn the corner by using Skill #6, “Write the Headline for Your Story,” from my book, Light it Up—7 Skills for Setting Intentions that Work. Use the soft skill of creativity to redefine your story as an incredible adventure, a slapstick comedy, a magnificent comeback tale, or whatever makes sense to you.
Stacy London could have let her fears stop her, creating a headline like, “Insecure and Unhappy Girl is Lost Forever.” But she didn’t get stuck in the setback. She changed the headline to, “Wise, Confident and Loving Life: The World of Stacy London.”
Here are three ways for you to road test this practice:
There will always be reasons to say, “No, I can’t,” “There’s no point in trying,” or “What’s the use?” Take heart—everyone wrestles with that critical voice in their head! So, forget about keeping up a front with fake positivity when uncertainty comes your way—that’s all talk. Face the deep questions and exchange all talk for real talk.