I have a friend who wants to build a custom house. When I asked him about it, he described it as “light and bright.” I thought, Oh, no—all feelings, no facts! How many bedrooms did he want? Ranch style or several stories? Modern or traditional?
Most of us set intentions the way my friend describes his new house. They’re a big, kind of fuzzy idea like “happiness” or “abundance.” But here’s the trouble: You can’t reach a destination you can’t describe. Think of it this way—If you had two minutes alone with your Fairy Godmother, could you give her your elevator pitch?
I knew I had to drill down on my intentions when I scanned a LinkedIn job listing. I glanced at the first few sentences and thought, I can do that—no problem! But things went downhill fast when I clicked the “See more” link. I didn’t have years of financial modeling under my belt. I wasn’t an expert in the industry. And I hadn’t managed an Operations team. So much for moving into the corner office with a view!
That short exercise shows a key insight about goal setting: Results are only sustainable if you’re equipped. You can visualize or affirm the greatest opportunity in the world coming your way all day long, and you may even get it. But you won’t keep those results unless you’re ready.
So, don’t get hung up on the idea that you simply deserve great things. Deservability is a trap your ego will tell you. Instead, look your weakness straight in the eye and add a stretch intention to your list. That’s the concept behind “make the intention that makes you a little bit uncomfortable” in my book, Light it Up—7 Skills for Setting Intentions that Work.
To get a radically different job, I had to slow down, and that was an uncomfortable intention all on its own. But it wasn’t the only one! I also had to pound the pavement looking for a peer who could give me the inside scoop of what the job was really like. Then I had mull over that information and make a hard choice, asking if I was ready to put in significant class time to shore up my skill set.
Uncomfortable intentions are the true game-changers because you’ll avoid mistakes which used to be the boss of you. So, use the soft skill of creativity to round out your current intentions list. Here are a few examples to kickstart you:
* Keep listening, even when you disagree
* Slow down and make sure you have all the facts
* Stop taking the bait for unproductive conversations
The life we hope to have doesn’t simply arrive on its own. It happens by aligning your vision with empowering actions. So, exchange dreaming for doing with these ideas:
In the January series, Turn the Corner, you’ve seen that intentions are more than a checklist. They need your natural creativity to spring to life. Here’s a recap of what we’ve learned:
The old way of setting intentions is to wish for the kinda, sorta, maybe idea in your head. But your dreams deserve more than wishing or willpower. Take your intentions from blurry, hard to describe concepts and turn them into vibrant, five sensory experiences. Skill up and turn the corner.