I saw a funny tweet where someone complained that life wasn’t turning out like their favorite romantic comedy. All I could think was, Welcome to the club!
Even romcom movie star Sandra Bullock knows there’s a big difference between reality and the magic of a movie set. When a red-carpet reporter remarked that she never seemed to age, Bullock dead-panned, “This look took 2 ½ hours!”
The dry ground between your expectations and real life may have made you feel like giving up on love. But consider this angle: Your romantic life isn’t disappointing—it’s real.
Keeping it real was the advice from “Ask Polly,” a New York magazine columnist, to a reader concerned about her unemployed boyfriend. On the one hand, he was loving and committed. And on the other hand? Well, there was a lot on the other hand.
He was pushing to move in, and by the way, he hoped his girlfriend would pay all the bills since he was often broke. He promised he was working on his next big professional break, which could happen anytime…or no time. The girlfriend loved him, but something in her heart said, “Not yet.”
Polly was equally skeptical. She bluntly summed up their situation this way: “My guess is that ignoring reality is his thing. Many, many people are like this. They like the idea of big dreams…that are more like lottery tickets that might pay off big or might just add up to nothing at all…They think work is overrated. But they don’t think sushi is overrated.”
Then Polly took a stark look at her own life: “I have to work, and exercise, and cook, and deal with whiny kids.” Was she disappointed that real life wasn’t like a romcom? Not at all. She said, “It’s good for me to do all of these things at once, actually. It makes me feel stronger.”
Polly’s clarity is important for the February series, Everyday Love. When you can take the nitty gritty details of life, like laundry, making the bed and going to a job you may not be thrilled about, in stride in-between the candlelight dinners and splashy celebrations, you’ve hit the masterclass of adulting. You’re using honesty, which is a cornerstone of the soft skill of healthy self-confidence, to find the tenderness in what you’re doing instead of feeling like life, love, or your partner has let you down.
Here are three ways you can clarity to build strong, healthy relationships:
Life probably won’t ever compare to your favorite romcom, but that’s what the Hallmark Channel is for!