A friend of mine used to nanny for a family with three kids, including a rambunctious toddler. Several times a day, the little girl went head over heels, racing after something or someone. My friend would take one look at her and say cheerfully, “You’re OK!” The startled toddler would blink a couple of times, pull herself back to her feet, and keep going.
“Why do you do that?!” I asked. My friend calmly said, “When I rush in upset, she gets upset. But if I reassure her, she dusts herself off and keeps going!”
Right now, you may feel a little like that toddler—head over heels and trying to get your bearings. The midst of uncertainty is the time to use Technique #6, “Blaze the Trail,” from my bestseller, Genuine Power—7 Techniques to Be Powerful in a Loud, Complicated World. Step into your power and act like the creative, wise CEO of your life by turning to courage and determination.
Let’s meet Jill, whose desire for all the stars to align keeps her stuck in limbo.
Mark’s coworkers oohed and aahed as he described the Washington, D.C., job offer. His cousin Jill had texted him with the news that she signed the offer letter. Everyone at lunch was excited for Jill, but Mark seemed skeptical. It was a stable position with a prominent consulting firm, complete with a generous relocation package. It sounded amazing. Why was he so worried?
Mark recanted. “You guys are right. Of course, it’s a great job, but something is bothering me. Jill will be a train ride home to Connecticut at the drop of a hat. That’s good . . . but not so good. She can go out with her high school friends and crash with her parents as often as she wants. Why should she make an effort to put down roots?” His face clouded over. “That’s what happened when she worked in New York City. She was back and forth from the City to her parents’ house. I was hoping she’d want to start connecting with new people.”
“She’s kind of drifted in the last few years,” Mark said, with a worried look on his face. “She keeps switching jobs, but her title is always the same. Then she took a year off and lived in Italy. I’m hoping the change of scenery is just what she needs. My aunt has always had a flair for decorating, and Jill’s asked her to design her apartment, top to bottom, claiming she wouldn’t know where to start. The whole family has got their fingers crossed. We’re hoping this fresh start works for her.”
It all sounded reasonable. Donna tried to put his fears at ease. “C’mon, Mark, we’ve all been there. Who didn’t switch jobs and want to travel to Europe after college?” she laughed.
Mark rolled his eyes. “Oh, I didn’t tell you? My cousin Jill is forty-two.”
You might listen to Jill’s story and think, The problems are obvious—she needs to start adulting and manage her own life instead of waiting for other people, and that’s a smart observation. Jill leans on her Mom and Dad to act as home base, and although they want to be supportive, they’re torn, questioning if they’re rescuing her from problems she should be able to manage.
At the same time, we’ve all been in Jill’s shoes, looking to others to make us feel safe. If you’ve ever postponed being powerful because you felt conflicted, take comfort. You can take responsibility for your life and still have and ask for the support of others—those ideas which seem to be incompatible can co-exist. Being alone or doing everything on your own isn’t the cost of being empowered.
Here’s something most CEOs won’t tell you: There can be a fair amount of ground between having authority and having all the answers. But that foggy ground is the perfect time to turn to soft skills—that’s why it’s an important point for the May series, Power Up!, where we’re talking about ways you can reignite your personal power.
Leaders can’t put their business on hold, waiting for a picture-perfect solution. So, they maintain healthy self-confidence about what they can control by pushing forward with constant, informed adjustments. They mimic scientific trailblazers like Nikola Tesla, Thomas Edison, and Marie Curie, who made progress one experiment at a time.
Here are three ways you can blaze the trail:
Empower yourself by changing black and white thinking to open, possibility thinking. Don’t wait for others to blaze the trail—be the consistent leader of your life.
To download your free copy of Genuine Power, visit your favorite bookseller. Ditch the tired, obsolete version of destructive power and live a Soul Boss life, where you stay the boss of you. Go from tripped up to powered up!