Give Binary Thinking the Boot

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Heather Mitchell didn’t plan to start a movement. She just wanted to shoot photos of her 8-year-old daughter, Paislee, in her favorite pink princess dress. And, by the way, Paislee was surrounded by softballs.

It all started at Paislee’s softball practice. Another mom commented that she hoped Paislee would learn to love softball because she was athletic. Heather thought, Excuse me?! Because the Paislee she knew was a “girly girl,” not a hardcore athlete. But she had a bigger question: Why did Paislee have to choose between one or the other? Why couldn’t she enjoy both sides of her personality equally?

Mitchell posted Paislee’s photo shoot to the Facebook page for her studio, HMP Couture Imagery. The response was so positive that she offered 16 similar photo sessions, which sold out in an hour. Then her story went viral.

Why Do One Thing When You Can Do it All?

So far, Heather has shot empowering pictures for everyone from a new adoptee from foster care to a cancer patient to a girl born with a partial arm. What’s the common denominator? Words like, “no,” “can’t” and “not good enough,” aren’t in their vocabulary. Heather encourages girls to do it all.

So, what can we learn from Heather for the June series, Raise Your Game, where we’re talking about how to change soft spots into strengths? Her story shows how snap judgments—like the one the mom made at softball practice—instantly restrict you. Judgment becomes a strength when you use it as a tool to challenge yourself to see new, different possibilities.

What Is Your Self-Talk?

Has your first reaction become a million different versions of “no”? Perhaps your internal script sounds like:

• I wouldn’t be any good at that;

• Nope! That will never work; or

• There’s no other option.

Let’s reframe those statements. Would your best friend hang out with you if you constantly told them all the things they couldn’t and shouldn’t be doing? No way! So, why talk to yourself like that? You can get out of your rut by using the soft skill of discernment. Use your ability to make smart choices to challenge the status quo.

The Decision Making Challenge

Here are three ways for you to raise your decision-making game:

• Make it fast by taking 30 seconds to declare, “By challenging old ways of thinking, I now quickly and easily break out of self-imposed limits.”

• Make it deep by taking 30 minutes to reflect on times you’ve immediately told yourself no. Did you say no because you needed to gain more skills? Or did you push back or walk away because you were afraid to fail? How could you make a smart, supportive decision the next time around?

• Make it real by pushing yourself this week to change an automatic no into possibility thinking. Break out of the box by finding the path to a smart “Yes!”.

There’s a lot of good waiting for you. But you’ll have to say yes.