Grownupify Your No Flex

When you were little, did you ever think When I grow up, I’m getting my way! It turns out that life isn’t quite that simple. A secret of taking charge is learning when to take an over-enthusiastic “Yes!” off the table.

Let’s be honest: Sometimes it’s exciting to be impulsive and leave the consequences to later. It can feel fun to give in to the moment. Exercising your no flex—especially when everyone else is having a good time—doesn’t seem sexy.

But you know what really isn’t fun or sexy? Losing the reputation you’ve worked so hard to achieve.

That’s what happened to former hoops superstar Antoine Walker. He was flexing in all the right ways: 13 years in the NBA, a great circle of player friends, and $108 million earned.

But he forgot one last critical flex: The ability to say no—to himself and others. The OG-size debts for cars, real estate, and gambling added up, and within two years, Walker declared bankruptcy.

Being a grown-up with money was training Antoine Walker missed. He had to learn the hard way, but now he’s making the way easier for young guys. He teaches athletes on the way up how to trade impatience for compound interest and be selective when using their resources. And here’s the surprising decision that changes the game every time: Knowing when and how to say no.

Five No’s to Power Your Professional Standing

We’ve all found ourselves on the slippery slope of spontaneity. Before you take a leap which may drag your reputation down with it, listen for your heart whispering, “No,” “Don’t”, or “Wait.” Then boss up by making a wise, empowered decision instead of the quick, reckless choice. Your future self is already thanking you!

If you’re skeptical, thinking “No” is a dead end, try these inspired options to raise your professional standing:

Three Ways to Grow Up Your Work Skills

In the May series, Grownupify Your Work Skills, we discussed how you can use work skills to adult. Think of astute people you’ve admired—they probably had a deep understanding of how things really work. And that understanding helped them make shrewd, well-timed choices.

Soft skills aren’t tricky or complicated—they’re as easy as 1, 2, 3! Here’s a recap of skills you can use to your advantage:

1. The first skill was Self-Confidence. Grown-ups have the edge because a few flaws don’t stop them from making moves. They see their imperfections, accept them, then direct their attention to more important matters, like what lights up their heart and soul.
2. The second skill was Communication. Truth bombs and mic drops may seem empowering, but the side effects are rookie mistakes like power struggles, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. In its place, be as selective with your delivery as you are with your words.
3. The last skill was Managing Your Career. Check yourself on the perception that aligning with movers and shakers is the only way to get ahead. You’re the ideal decider about the next chapter because you know your values, interests, and financial goals best. Sharpen the necessary competencies to get to that level rather than playing the tired game of squeezing yourself into someone else’s perception of success.

Traditional thinking says only a select few should make big decisions. However, deferring critical choices to others can wind up like a miserable summer potluck. You assume everyone will pick up tasty party platters, but instead, you might wind up with several disappointing $3 bags of stale chips! (Womp, womp.)

So, rather than wishing and hoping for the best, take charge like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss. Ace adulting and grownupify your skill set.