Grownupify Your Self-Confidence

Did you catch the editorial commenting that some workplace practices are essentially equivalent to helicopter parenting? The author reached a thought-provoking takeaway: It’s time to stop micro-managing and “grownupify” work.

Adulting sounds reasonable, but here’s the trouble: Everyone’s perception is slightly different, so how do you know when you get there? In the May series, Grownupify Your Work Skills, we’ll discuss three angles of this problem and how you can use work skills techniques to become wise and empowered, regardless of age. (Think Yoda, only with a nicer complexion and cuter clothes!)

First, let’s talk about self-confidence. Do you ever sail along feeling great, then a small sigh or oversight from someone makes you feel like you’re back in middle school? Everyone does!

When that happens to me, I walk to the first floor of my office. Someone had the bright idea of placing a stack of Post-It notes and pens on the counter. It only takes a few minutes of reading inspiring messages on the powder room mirror to regain my footing.

There’s just one roadblock: I have to wait for someone else to pick up the pen. So, here’s idea #1 to grownupify work: Learn to encourage yourself, even on the bad hair, bad mood, everything-that-can-go-wrong-has-gone-wrong days. Let’s meet someone who decided self-confidence shouldn’t wait for perfection.

Let Your Soul Drive Self-Confidence

Deirdra Goven is the costume designer for the hit comedy, “Harlem.” You might think she would take a “fashion first” mindset. However, she starts from the opposite direction. Her thinking is that true style comes from clothes that make the actresses feel fabulous, not the other way around.

She commented, “I wanted to make sure when I was creating the look and the style of the show that I was not having a myopic point of view. I really wanted to show these women as multi-dimensional, as not perfect human beings, but they had a sense of self and they understood that they weren’t perfect, and they had flaws.”

Working on Harlem is a labor of love for Goven, even when she hears a “no” from a cast member, director, or producer. She stated, “Don’t get me wrong: There are boxes, boundaries, and a lot of people I have to answer to. Sometimes, what I want in terms of costumes doesn’t always win, and I have to just abide by that. It’s not a free-for-all, but I think in creating anything that’s of value, you put your soul in it. And I put a lot of my soul in ‘Harlem’.”

How Work Skills Help You Feel Empowered and Self-Confident

The case study debunks conventional thinking that hiding whatever isn’t flattering is best. Ignoring flaws gives them unintentional weight or power because you’re constantly dancing around what bothers you.

Instead, transform false positivity into empowerment. Grownupify your self-image by mimicking Deirdra Goven’s practice: See your flaws, own them, then redirect your attention to what lights up your heart and soul. Those actions demonstrate insight and self-awareness—two marketable work skills.

When you don’t let mistakes, imperfections, or past choices (even the ones that didn’t go according to plan) get to you, their flex is gone—they’re no longer the boss of you. Here are three ways to start:

• Ask yourself The Big Question: “What would happen if I stopped talking around or avoiding a weak spot?”
• Make these mindset swaps:
  • I don’t want to talk about it becomes Yeah—that happened!
  • It was someone else’s fault becomes That project taught me about dependencies.
  • That was a big mistake becomes I got a masterclass in what not to do.
• And inspire yourself by declaring, “My experiences make me wiser, better, and more self-confident.”

Even the most incredible circle of friends, family, and colleagues can’t ride shotgun all the time. So, inspire yourself the way you would someone else. Having a few flaws doesn’t mean you aren’t fabulous!