Labor Day has come and gone, so it’s official: Recess is over and it’s time to get back to work! If your in-box is anything like mine, you may be juggling deadlines as fast as you can, and tempers could be flaring. But trying to strong arm everyone in the room just because you want something to end isn’t finishing strong – it’s simply a war of wills. So, draw on the soft skill of smart choices and decide whether to push ahead or step back. Let me tell you how my friend Derek hit pause in the nick of time.
Derek has a razor-sharp mind and an incredible ability to quickly sort through and synthesize loads of information. But there’s a down-side to his smarts—sometimes he can move too fast. That’s what happened when he was negotiating a seven-figure deal. They were almost ready to finish when he heard from the other side. His blood pressure spiked as he skimmed the mail and saw they needed time to obtain final approval.
His fingers flew as he expressed his irritation and insult—”How could you? Why is there a delay? You told me we were on track!” He stopped when he finally had the perfect mix of snark and ultimatums.
Derek thought his deal partner would cheer him on, but there was silence as he read the draft over the phone. Derek told me, “My colleague said quietly, “Are you sure you want to hit Send? We’re almost done—in fact, they said they’d give us an update by 3PM. At this point, we’ve done everything we can do. Why don’t we grab lunch and quit while we’re ahead?”
In the September series, Finish Strong, we’re talking about tips to help you get projects over the finish line. It’s easy to think that the only way to solve tough problems is to run straight at them. But here’s a surprising truth: Sometimes the fastest way to finish strong is to go with the flow instead of stirring up another round of tit-for-tat.
Think back to Derek’s situation. Was his deal important? Of course! But Derek could have blown up negotiations by trying to force a quick yes. That’s the power of discernment—your gut tells you when doing nothing for the moment is doing the right thing.
Have you ever been in Derek’s shoes, banging out a sharp-tongued exchange? Those mails and texts rarely work as planned. They often disrupt progress and send you back to square one—that’s what almost happened to Derek. Even worse, they can haunt you weeks or months later (usually when you least expect it!). So, an easy, practical way to finish strong is to hit pause before you hit Send. Wave a permanent good-bye to these counter-productive communications:
* The Mayhem Mail, where you overreact simply because you’ve misread a message.
* The Avoidance Mail, where a 5-minute call becomes a 5-hour thread as you try to dodge an uncomfortable conversation.
* The Clap-Back Mail, where you insist on having the last word.
Now that September has hit, we’re all in a rush, but devote a few more minutes to your communications this week. Manage your in-box like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss—and seek to understand the content as well as the behind-the-scenes emotions. You may decide that you don’t need to chime in one more time, or that nothing good will be accomplished when your ego takes up the pen. Before you get side-tracked or trapped in a conversation that might backfire, hit pause before you hit Send.