Hold on to the Right Things

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Have your January intentions already hit the slush pile because you’re randomized, running from one thing to the next?

Don’t throw in the towel yet. You don’t need a complete overhaul—just make a few meaningful edits and create a routine that will give you the stability necessary to accomplish your 2019 goals. We’ll talk about how to make those edits in the April series, Build Routines that Build You Up.

Meet Doug

My friend Doug was left juggling three kids after his wife passed away. Handling after-school logistics by himself and getting a healthy dinner on the table was tougher than expected.

Weekend meal prep sounded like the answer until he factored in social events and soccer practice. Who had a half-day to spare? Strike one.

Dinner meal kits were next. But Doug found himself sorting through instructions and prep alone—hardly the family experience he envisioned. Strike two.

Luckily, Doug had a light bulb moment before he hit strike three. He laughed, “After all those hits and misses, I got it. My real goal was spending time with the kids around the dinner table or helping with their homework, not perfecting my knife skills. Cooking from scratch every night was crazy!”

Doug took the pressure off with a fresh approach. Their new routine is a mix of weekend cooking, help from the grocery store prepared foods counter a few nights a week, and pizza every Friday. Mission accomplished!

How to Use Healthy Detachment

This story shows step 1 of this series: Hold on to the right things. You can hold on to the right things by using the soft skill of healthy detachment, where you objectively identify everything going well and use courage to admit the gaps. Then you use what you’ve learned to make changes tailor made for you.

Here are a few examples of how you can act like a creative, wise CEO and make healthy detachment personal:

• Maybe you vowed to start investing but haven’t made headway. Hold on to the goal of a secure financial future, but don’t wait until you’ve become a financial expert. Start where you are by automating as much savings as you can.
• Perhaps you thought you’d hit spin class 5 night a week, but your reality is a crazy busy work schedule. Reclaim that intention, but update your How by scheduling a single, recurring appointment, like “Wednesday Night Wellness.”
• Or, you can emulate Doug, who let go of his expectations about how perfect parents behave. He kept the What of a happy, healthy mealtime but fine-tuned the How.

Are You Going in Circles? Try This Week’s Challenge!

Try these steps to determine if you’re holding on to the right things:

• Make it fast by taking 30 seconds to declare, “I have a positive, productive routine. I do what works for me.”

• Make it deep by taking 30 minutes to make the link between your goals and habits. Does your day-to-day routine truly support you?

• Make it real by identifying one thing you’ll change.

If you feel like you’re going in circles, ask yourself, “Am I holding on to the right things or am I being unrealistic?” Be fearless and the answers will emerge.