When you think about soft skills, are they limited from 9 to 5? The good news is that they don’t have to be—you can use them for every area, even the sore spots!
Here’s what I mean: Sometimes the most uncomfortable conversation isn’t with someone else—it’s the one you must have with yourself. For instance, I remember the turning point I could no longer ignore. Understanding that I may have bitten off more than I could chew in a volunteer project. Or seeing it was time to get out of a situation gracefully. Are you facing a few situations like that too?
There’s no magic fix, but you can use soft skills, like insight and self-awareness, to navigate the tender, I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it circumstances. You become a better, wiser, more emotionally mature version of the person who started the year when you build the courage and resilience to face issues head on—kind of You 2.0.
So, in the November series, Soft Skills for You 2.0, we’ll talk through three ways you can handle the moments when you must say the hard part out loud. By the end of the month, you’ll have techniques to put some of these uncomfortable conversations to bed before 2022 closes.
First, let’s talk about facing feedback that may have highlighted some of your imperfections. Let’s meet someone who had a heart-to-heart with himself and walked away with a career he loved.
Colin Levy was out on a limb after law school. Unlike some of his friends, he didn’t have a job lined up at Big Law. His grades were middle of the road. And then there was the bar exam, which gave him a ton of trouble. Twice.
He told on LinkedIn about multiple hiring managers and recruiters who advised him to throw in the towel on a legal career. But Colin wrote, “After taking some time to calm down, the discouragement became encouragement for me. I realized I needed to stop letting others control my destiny. I was the only person who truly could and should shape my destiny.”
Levy built a professional network step by step and finally found the right fit. He gave himself credit by saying, “It was through these conversations and my unwavering tenacity and ambition that I landed my first job and my second job, and it continued to be that way for my law journey so far…Give yourself the power to shape your own career.”
The secret no one mentions at the beginning of your career is that you’ll often face headwinds of strong opinions and unsolicited advice. But here’s the wildcard: No matter what comes at you, you’re still the boss of you. So, with a bit of patience, insight, and self-reflection, you can “Write the Headline for Your Story,” an idea from my book, Light it Up: 7 Skills for Setting Intentions that Work. Writing the headline for your story is a way to empower yourself after a disappointment.
The January version of you might have danced around your shortcomings. Or you might have clapped back at the person giving advice, only to regret harsh words later. But You 2.0 can use soft skill tactics like wise choices and a healthy sense of self.
Put those tools to work to listen to what’s being said, decide if you’ll pick up what’s been put down or leave it right there, and then mindfully decide what’s next. That’s how you transform the headline of your story from “Career-Ending Moment” to “Believed in Myself After a One-Time Event!”
Here are three ways to architect for You 2.0:
Ask yourself The Big Question: Am I doing what’s right for me or have I gotten lost in someone else’s opinions or fears?
Change your focus with idea swaps. For instance:
Listening to others becomes Listening to myself
Dismissing feedback becomes Experimenting and reflecting
Giving up becomes Changing course with intention
Support yourself by declaring, “I have sound judgment. I easily transform problems into possibilities.”
Lots of information will come your way, but you get to determine where you go from there. Let the January version of you go and get ready for You 2.0.
If you’re new to soft skills or want a refresher, boss up with my free 15-minute course, “Soft Skills Basics in a Flash.” You’ll learn what soft skills are, why people who understand soft skills stand out in a crowd, and practical, actionable ways to use soft skills every day. With the bonus 1-pager, “7 Ways to Pitch Your Soft Skills Superpower” in your back pocket, you’ll leave calm, self-assured, and ready to speak soft skills with anyone who asks.