Have you heard of the new HGTV show, “Help! I Wrecked My House“? It follows the adventures of homeowners finally seeking professional help after they’ve bitten off more than they could chew. (But hey, living without a bathroom can give you that type of breakthrough moment!)
A friend has coined the term “self-helpers” for people who over-index on DIY projects. Have you known a few? From plumbing to landscaping, self-helpers are slow to ask for help because they think they have everything figured out.
Here’s the surprise: Self-helpers show up everywhere and anyone can qualify. You’ll know you’re drifting into self-helper land when your confidence starts outpacing facts and lived experience.
But don’t worry—soft skills can help you transform the know-it-all mindset that may bring trouble. Let’s meet someone who shifted their outlook and retired the self-helper label forever.
I thought my colleague Juan would be sympathetic to my house repairs. I faced a perfect storm, where my furnace and water heater were both on the brink of breaking down.
“What? That’s nothing!” Juan joked. “Haven’t I told you about the escapades we’ve been through?”
“My first house taught me to ask about flood zones. We bought a picturesque Victorian when I worked at one of the local TV stations in New Hampshire. Awesome in Summer, awful in Winter!” Juan said, shaking his head.
“Then we were so in love with the sleek apartment in San Francisco that we forgot to ask about retrofitting. The first earthquake was a lot of fun,” Juan laughed, glancing at his wife. “Then we thought we had it made when we bought new construction outside Denver. But wait—did I mention the noise from the flight school at the small local airport?!”
In the November series, Soft Skills for You 2.0, we’re discussing how to handle the most uncomfortable conversation of all: The one you must have with yourself.
You might listen to the case study and think my colleague had bad luck. Or you might chalk up his track record to self-helper over-optimism.
But what caught my ear was Juan’s humor and modesty. Amidst all those snags, he didn’t build a rough, tough shell—he stayed teachable.
When you reflect on the year, have you faced similar mishaps? The January You may have glossed over complications, or at your most frustrated, you may have looked for a fall guy. But You 2.0 can use soft skills like insight and compassion. Treat yourself with the same care as a friend recounting a problem.
Making mistakes, owning them with clarity, and then laughing it off isn’t putting yourself down. Instead, it’s an intentional decision to keep growing and learning.
If you’re worried admitting errors may make you look bad, reframe the scenario. Think of self-helpers whose pride kicks in. Doubling down is how little problems snowball into bigger ones. And that’s how you wind up on a reality show where everyone knows your business!
Here are three ways to practice soft skill How tactics like empathy and healthy self-esteem:
Cringe-inducing, eye-rolling circumstances will happen, but they don’t have to be the boss of you. Instead, flip the bit and turn that mishap into a great story! Treat yourself with kindness and humor—that’s how you get to You 2.0.
If you’re new to soft skills or want a refresher, boss up with my free 15-minute course, “Soft Skills Basics in a Flash.” You’ll learn what soft skills are, why people who understand soft skills stand out in a crowd, and practical, actionable ways to use soft skills every day. With the bonus 1-pager, “7 Ways to Pitch Your Soft Skills Superpower” in your back pocket, you’ll leave calm, self-assured, and ready to speak soft skills with anyone who asks.