People throw around the word “namaste” all the time, but do you know that it’s more than a greeting? Essentially it means, “The light (or the Divine) within in me bows to the light in you.”
In the October series, Make it Count, we’re talking about cultivating communications with impact. It’s easy to wish others namaste when you’re in sync. But the real test is making your words and delivery matter when you’re not even close to seeing eye-to-eye. You could even feel like someone’s bad behavior makes them ineligible to receive a namaste!
Dr. Phil’s wife, Robin McGraw, once fought a war of wills with her eldest son. She thought she had it made with Jay, who was normally a happy, obedient child. Everything changed during a surprise incident at the grocery store.
As they casually shopped together, Jay spied a little boy having a tantrum. The boy ran ahead of his mother. He pulled merchandise off the shelves. And he argued as she pleaded for him to stop.
Robin glanced down at Jay, seeing the wheels spinning in his mind. No problem, she thought—I’ll distract him by moving on to the next aisle. But within minutes, Jay began to misbehave, mimicking the outburst he had just seen.
First, Robin cautioned him. That worked…for about 30 seconds. Then she gave him a second warning that they would leave and go home. When Jay started up for the third time, Robin followed through on her words. She calmly abandoned her grocery cart, drove home and immediately put him to bed.
You might listen to Robin McGraw’s story and think, That sounds nice, but my crazy cousin isn’t a three-year old I can put to bed! They pick a fight at every family gathering—I think that makes them ineligible for a namaste!
Fair enough.
But do you know what no one said ever? “Upping the ante with insults and falling into the trap of being the angriest voice in the room really helped!”
Here’s what you can do instead: Rely on the soft skill of healthy self-confidence to be in genuine power when others are having a meltdown—no matter how old they are.
If you need a style icon, think how midwives act. The birthing process is messy, tense and sometimes chaotic. But midwives know that yelling and screaming only adds tension. What eases everyone’s stress? Reassuring, insightful words from the relaxed, clear-headed person in the room.
So, how can you make your words count in the face of someone behaving badly?
Staying in the light is within reach. Start with a namaste.