Let the Smoke Clear

Prefer to listen? Click here for the: podcast.

The little girl at the top of the big kids’ slide in Central Park caught my eye. The climb up had gone just fine, but now going down seemed scary. Her mother ran to the bottom, encouraging her to let go and ease down the slide into her waiting arms. She called out, “Little by little, my love. Little by little.”

By this point in the year, you may feel a lot like that little girl, ready to give up on intentions that seem too big to achieve. But let’s take the pressure off the next 90 days and find a new purpose. In October, we’ll courageously define what to do next in the series, Little by Little.

Are You Tempted to Cut Corners?

I noticed the faint smell of smoke as I put my trash cans away but didn’t give it a second thought. My neighbor, JD, often hung out with his buddies smoking outside. But then white puffs appeared over the top of the fence. You guessed it—JD’s house was on fire and it was coming my way.

JD was thrilled when a potential contractor promised a bunch of quick fixes. JD was sure he would be back in his house in a few months, tops.

But it was a different story once the smoke cleared. The walls had severe damage, and the main structural beam needed to be reinforced. To be safe, they had to take the house down to the frame—cutting corners was out of the question. It took longer than JD wanted, but with the insurance settlement, a wish list that would have taken him five years or more was finished in six
months.

Delays Give You the Chance to See Vulnerabilities

As you look at your 2019 results, are you frustrated because the timing hasn’t met your expectations? Take a lesson from my neighbor—give yourself time to let the smoke clear. The extra time it’s taking isn’t punitive—it’s giving you a chance to see and strengthen a vulnerability that may not have been apparent the first time around.

Consider this: If someone asked you to describe the weak spots—something that still needs work, an element where you need more information, or an area that could be stronger—could you do it? If you can’t, go back to the drawing board using the soft skill of discernment. It takes guts to see what you may not want to see, make shrewd choices, and show patience while you’re actively waiting to reach your goal.

Take the Active Waiting Challenge

If the premise of active waiting is new to you, here’s how you do it:

• Make it fast by taking 30 seconds to affirm, “I release any anxiety about the future. I will know what to do when the time comes.”
• Make it deep by taking 30 minutes to remember when the smoke got in your eyes. What mistake could have been avoided if you had taken the time to get an opinion from someone more experienced, form a stronger alliance, or rule out anything that wasn’t right for you?
• Make it real by making delays work in your favor. Focus on finding the best solution, not the fastest.

Having weak spots or delays in your project isn’t bad; it just is. Start saying no to taking any action and yes to taking the right one.