Level Up Your Communication Skills with Self-Awareness

Do you want to hear some advice from a billionaire that’s actually useful? Listen.

That advice is in a clip from The School of Hard Knocks. The guy had an interesting backstory, where he inherited his father’s debt of $20 million. Ultimately, he overcame that failure and owned hotels in 35 countries before selling his company to Hilton.

Listening is the billionaire’s secret sauce for making sales. He said, “The customer, your friends, your bankers will always tell you the pathway.”

Then he finished the conversation with an interesting caution: “Put the pen across the table and the first person who talks, loses. When the deal is ripe, it solves itself.”

Awareness is Part of Communication

In the May series, 4 Competencies to Ace Interviews, we’ve discussed how to showcase your people skills to find a new role or land a cool cross-group project. So far, we’ve talked about ways to stand out from the crowd, like solving pain points, creating a killer network, and demonstrating emotional intelligence. Competency #4 is awareness.

Awareness is tricky—it’s easy to spot when it’s missing, but hard to put into words. So, try this simple pivot: Awareness is a style of communicating.

Here’s what I mean: Like the billionaire said, people who are aware spend a lot of time listening. This is traditional “read the room” acumen, where the listener either takes in ideas or reads between the lines of what’s being said.

But reading the room doesn’t mean much if you stay on the sidelines. That’s why expert communicators add the layer of self-awareness.

Have you ever noticed how some people always say the right thing or avoid talking too much? It’s because self-aware people process three crucial elements in real time: (1) what’s happening; (2) their role in what’s happening; and (3) when they’re out of their depth and need to engage their network.

So, if you want to bring a fresh spin on communication to your interview, mention how you combine awareness/self-awareness skills. Here are five down-to-earth ways to describe this competency:

1. I notice body language and microaggressions. Words are often only half of the story.
2. I stay cool in heated conversations. I assert myself without aggravating situations.
3. Managing the clock is easy. My instincts tell me when people need to take a break or reconvene.
4. Every deal has concessions, but I make shrewd, well-timed trade-offs.
5. When I need help, I seek others’ expertise. Quality projects happen by everyone working in their strength.

4 Competencies to Ace Interviews Series Recap

Here’s a recap of what we’ve learned in this series. And refer to prior posts or my social media channels for five talking points for each idea:

1. Competency #1—Your Make it Work Superpower: Pain points are never in a nice, neat Playbook. Instead, they require people skills like critical thinking and creativity. So, ensure success stories highlight how you fixed friction points.
2. Competency #2—Your Capacity to Make Friends Before You Need Them: Great work doesn’t happen in a silo. Instead, it requires a diverse network. So, show how you use social skills to build and maintain authentic connections. And here’s the bonus round: The incredible partnerships you create will help tell your reputational story for you.
3. Competency #3—Your Astute Emotional Intelligence: Understanding how to collaborate with all types of people seems like a given but not everyone has that knack. So, as you walk through your What accomplishments, also describe the How adjustments you made day in and day out for each audience.
4. Competency #4—Your Ability to Combine Awareness and Self-Awareness: Awareness and self-awareness are built on a foundation of listening. So, flex your communication skills by describing how you read the room, understand how you’re showing up, and persuade others.

Pitching yourself can feel intimidating, whether you’re applying for a new job or wish to join an initiative at your current company. But don’t let your fears be the boss of you. When a new opportunity comes your way, take charge like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss—and show all the ways you use people skills to be an elite contributor.