The professional war stories were rolling at a sunny Spring happy hour. Every funny tale seemed to start with, “If I had only known…” Amidst all the rookie mistakes and ball dropping, one person had a deep insight. “All my mistakes have come from three things. Not making the decision I knew I needed to make. Making it early. And making it stick.”
Suddenly, everyone stopped laughing. Why? Because we all had the same slip-ups.
It’s hard to see hard things. It’s even harder to do something about them. That’s why we often take a “don’t look over there” approach. But that tactic doesn’t work in the long run. What does work is using honesty and self-confidence to see and shift patterns. That’s what we’ll talk about in the May series, Crystal Clear.
The lady behind me at Starbucks had quite a report when her friend asked how work was going.
“I don’t like to go to meetings.”
“I don’t like to listen to people go on and on.”
“I don’t like getting up in the morning.”
“I don’t like fighting traffic.”
I’ll give her credit—she was crystal clear about everything she didn’t like. But it made me wonder how she had become so pessimistic. It was obvious that detailing everything she hated took a big toll on her peace of mind. Even worse, no one around her was sympathetic to her complaints. Their refusal to change gave her even more to criticize.
We all have things to grumble about. Someone gave you an emergency project at work. That quick errand at the grocery store took extra time because a clerk was training. Or the bus was late, and you arrived home to see that your pet had torn up your shoes. A little grumbling here or there is to be expected.
What doesn’t work is grumbling about the same things over and over. That’s a shoulder tap from your instincts saying it’s time to make a choice. If the lady had decided I see what’s happening, but I’m not going to let a few roadblocks get in the way of happiness, empowering herself could have brought about an entirely different report.
You may feel like you’re going in circles right now. Instead of getting frustrated or resentful, realize you have a golden opportunity to course correct.
Get crystal clear on the choice you know you need to make. Make it early rather than postponing. And if doubts start to kick in, remember to make it stick.