Make Recess Mandatory

Prefer to listen? Click here for the: podcast.

I told my neighbor, “Thanks for inviting my daughter to sign-up for the community center soccer league, but we’re fully committed!” and then I walked down the driveway without looking back!”

I burst out laughing imagining my friend Cara trying to ease away from her pushy neighbor. Cara wasn’t trying to be defensive, but she had resolved to cut down the sports commitments this Fall, even if that ruffled a few feathers.

Cara sighed, “Last year, my wife and I went in opposite directions since our kids were in different leagues. By Sunday night, everyone was at odds because we were so worn out. This Summer, we agreed: One league. One direction. Sunday nights are free time—just for us. Full stop.”

Stop Defining Yourself by How Busy You Are

Cara’s story is a throwback to school days. What’s the favorite part of the school day for most kids? Recess! Every teacher knows that kids need time to rest their mind and get fresh air. But somehow, we forget recess when we grow up and get stuck in overdrive, piling on one activity after another.

You may not be juggling carpool duties like Cara, but you might realize that you’ve said “Yes” to one too many commitments this Fall. You could even put yourself down wondering, How did I get myself into this?

Let me give you some good news: You’re in a momentary predicament offering a valuable lesson. In the short term, you may have to grin and bear it. But for the long term, you’ve discovered that it’s all right to stop defining yourself by how busy you are.

Take the Recess Challenge

If you’re feeling swamped, follow Cara’s lead and schedule pockets of free time. Having unstructured open space isn’t self-indulgent—it’s using the soft skill of empathy. You’re being as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else, choosing what priorities make the cut.

Here are three techniques you can use to make recess mandatory:

• Make it fast by taking 30 seconds to declare, “I give my mind and body a break. When I take a break, I am more grounded, productive, and creative.”
• Make it deep by taking 30 minutes to block out free time on your calendar (don’t just expect it to happen!).
• Make it real by keeping that free time sacred.

Cancel the Guilt Trip Series Recap

In the September series, Cancel the Guilt Trip, we’ve talked about ways you can exchange feeling frantic and overwhelmed for feeling productive and confident. Here’s a recap of what we’ve learned:

1. When you feel overwhelmed because everything seems important: Cap Your Pri 0s. Change your focus from how much you can juggle to what you can accomplish well.
2. When you feel self-conscious because the day gets away from you: Schedule Burst Time. Take 5, 10, 15 or 20 minutes to connect with others, especially at the beginning or end of the day.
3. When you feel frustrated or blocked, Replace “I’m Stuck” with phrases like “I’m looking at it from another angle,” and “I’m sure there’s a solution.”
4. When you feel upset because you’ve over-committed: Make Recess Mandatory. Schedule free time and give yourself a chance to refuel.

Everyone has moments of doubt or feelings of confusion or
shame—just
don’t let them become the boss of you! Get back on track by remembering that
you’re the creative, wise CEO of your life. Use what you’ve learned this month to
cancel that guilt trip for good!