It’s only the second week of January, but have you already talked yourself out of some of the goals on this year’s intentions list? Don’t put yourself down—it’s more common than you think!
Getting a big vision can be the easy part. But it can feel crushing to come face-to-face with gaps in your knowledge or skill set. That’s where you start second-guessing your gut, backing up, and maybe even crossing that goal off your intentions list!
But there’s an upside to finding a gap: You’ve just discovered the uncomfortable intention you also need to make, the topic of the January series, Four Ways to Conquer Uncomfortable Intentions. Let me tell you how a famous author put soft skills to work to conquer what might have stopped her.
“I’m terrified it’s not going to come out. I’m the most nervous cook you’ve ever met.”
That quote sounds like someone who just moved into their first apartment and suddenly has to cook all the time—right? Are you surprised to know that’s Ina Garten speaking? Yes, the person who has written a dozen cookbooks and owned specialty foods store, The Barefoot Contessa, for over 20 years.
In a conversation with Katie Couric, Garten admitted that cooking can feel like a puzzle, with plenty of trial and error. Some recipes come together quickly, while others take years to perfect. Over time, she’s improved her cooking techniques by learning from others, but she’s still far from a classically trained chef. However, being forthcoming about her hits and misses as well as her skill set—and even keeping a sense of humor about them—has become part of Ina’s signature style.
Like Ina, have you ever wanted to try something new but then let other voices get in the way? You’re not alone—we’re all plagued by thoughts like:
* I’m scared about people’s judgy judgments
* What will my family say? They love to weigh in about whatever I’m doing!
* What if I’m just kidding myself?
When those comments kick in, turn to the soft skill of healthy self-esteem. Take a lesson from Ina’s story and don’t just admit that shortcoming—own it. No one does things perfectly when they’re trying something new. After decades in the food business, Ina’s still learning! So, inspire yourself like you would support others.
Can you imagine going back in time and saying to Ina Garten, “You’ve never owned a specialty food store before. Where’s your master plan?! Why do you think this will work?” Of course not! But that’s the way we talk to ourselves or let other people’s voices influence us. When those voices kick up, put them to rest with statements like, “I’m just starting,” “I love to learn,” or “I’m seeing where this takes me.”
If you’re going to make progress on your goals, you’ll also have a moment when you must make the uncomfortable intention to trust that the goal in your heart is for you, despite the doubts. You can overcome any discomfort by finding your How. Push yourself to take baby steps to learn or expand your current skill set.
Here are three ways to start:
Don’t let someone else’s insecurity or judgy judgment be the boss of you. Find your How and pursue what you love.