One and the Same

“I can’t work my life path. I need money,” said Phil the caller, complaining to the talk-show host.

Have you ever felt like Phil – so overwhelmed by the day to day stresses of life that you feel like loftier things need to wait?

It quickly became clear why Phil was frantic. He and his wife had moved to the Outer Banks with an eye toward retirement.  Yet their master plan was thrown into chaos when he was laid off 6 months later. He was short of breath as he desperately tried to predict all the contingencies. There was no getting around it: He had an enormous snowball of a problem. 

Phil’s voice softened and lit up with emotion as he told why they wanted to make the move. Side comments told the rest of the story, such as:

• I never really liked that company. I just took that job for the pension, but the pension would have taken another 10-15 years.
• We thought we’d love it here, but we’re not really connecting with the people. I think we were happier in the Midwest.
• Being angry? I like to think I’m above that. I like to be cheerful.

Phil’s intentions were good, but looking only at the financials was just part of the picture. Before he could move on with a clean slate, he needed to confront, not jump past, his sadness about how the move turned out.

In the October series, In the Solution Now, we’re talking about how to balance your head and heart. That means finding the equilibrium between a mountain of facts and the emotions that have you bouncing off the walls. When Phil gave equal weight to both sides of his mind, the answer emerged. His original dream was worth pursuing, but the Outer Banks was probably their “good for now, not forever” home. 

Are you in a bind like Phil, looking for the perfect solution to a Big Question? Let’s replay his situation as an experiment, bearing in mind that logic usually speaks in statements and absolutes, and instincts are open ended.

Logic says, “Keep money flowing by sticking to the job you know.” Intuition asks, “Retirement is a decade away. What job could I get that combines what I’m good at and like to do now?”

Logic says, “We’re locked in to a 30-year mortgage.” Intuition asks, “Yes, you bought it, but can you sell it?

Logic says, “If you move back to the Midwest, you’ll have to explain it to everyone.” Intuition asks, “Is the constant stress you’re feeling smart for your health?

If you’re not sure how to answer your Big Question, brainstorm using the ideas from A Course in Miracles lesson 71, “Where would have me go? What would you have me do?” Don’t feel pressured to find the perfect answer in minutes. You’re in the solution by simply beginning the conversation.

Your life purpose and happiest way of living? They’re not someday. They’re not separate. They’re one and the same.