Pass

Stylist Audrey Coyne motivated me to take a second look at my closet when she sang the praises of dressing in a single palette with different accent colors. Focusing on the clothes that went in the “Donate” pile would have been looking the wrong way. The real test was to discover and keep everything indispensable.

That insight can also be applied to the way you use your energy, the topic of the April series, Energy Balancers. This month we’ve talked about behaviors that block the flow of energy, like negative scripts that run in your subconscious or scattering your attention. Slipping into the same, old decision-making patterns can be just as dangerous. Since you’ve spent the month working on a clean slate, have you thought about what comes next?

In a Spring update video, Audrey made an interesting comment: Every fashionable woman knows when to say, “Pass!” on seasonal trends that wouldn’t work for them. You can apply that same concept to managing your day. When you think about what’s in the pipeline for the next six months, is your calendar filled with other people’s versions of what you should be doing, just like a suit or pair of shoes a sales person convinced you to buy? A key Soul Boss idea is to combine your passionate instincts with your shrewd intellect. But you can’t connect to your essential self if your day is randomized around someone else’s vision about what should be important.

There’s good news: A new season is the perfect time for a reboot. So, start saying a good-natured, “Pass!”, or even make it your new mantra. Let’s look at some of the places where you could say “Pass!” How about:

• Pass on using your friend’s edge case business hacks that are more risk than reward;
• Pass on taking the bait for petty arguments that never get resolved and always ruin your day;
• Pass on business, romantic and community partnerships where you’re having second thoughts about the red flags that just keep popping up; and
• Pass on owning someone else’s belief that you can and should fix all their problems.

Do you feel your energy stabilizing already? That’s because you’ve found an elegant way to stay in balance. It’s just like politely saying to an enthusiastic sales person, “That color wouldn’t work for me,” or “I love that suit, but it doesn’t fit my budget right now.” Life starts to easily fall into place when you detach from things that no longer fit. Step by step, you have time and energy for the people, places and things that are a natural match for the person you’re becoming.

This week, you may have the equivalent of an empty closet, and you could be excited to fill it up with interesting opportunities and new people. But before you start spending your energy by saying, “Yes!”, practice saying, “Pass!” a time or two.

Keeping your energy in balance is simple: Ensure the activities you invest in reflect your priorities.