Perfect Your High Agency Cut-Off Game

I ran across a funny cartoon about “How to win an argument.” It included tips like “Yell. Curse a lot. Slam doors. Say you’re not going to argue about it anymore, then come back once you’ve thought of something really good to say. Never back down.”

Have you ever met someone who misinterpreted these kinds of distorted tactics as high agency? (All I can say is, “Don’t get me started—we’ll be here all day!”)

That cartoon is the polar opposite of successful people I know. For instance:

1. My high agency friends rarely pick fights. Instead, they believe most things are figure-out-able.
2. They don’t lose their temper easily. That’s because they know that win-win solutions don’t happen by being unserious or unreasonable.
3. And they steer clear of disagreements before they become a shouting match, slammed door, or lingering resentment.

When you stitch those qualities together, the common thread becomes clear: High agency people have a superb cut-off game. They see commotion starting but step aside instead of plugging in. Let’s meet someone who learned to practice this principle.

Kind People are the Smartest

As part of the family that owns the Hyatt Hotel chain and the Governor of Illinois, JB Pritzker knows a little something about getting it done. But spending your day on the attack doesn’t make his shortlist.

He told graduates at Northwestern, “I’m here to tell you that when someone’s path through this world is marked with acts of cruelty, they have failed the first test of an advanced society. They never forced their animal brain to evolve past its first instinct. They never forged new mental pathways to overcome their own instinctual fears. And so, their thinking and problem-solving will lack the imagination and creativity that the kindest people have in spades… Over my many years in politics and business, I have found one thing to be universally true—the kindest person in the room is often the smartest.”

Let’s get something straight: Being nice and standing your ground don’t have to be mutually exclusive. But doing so will often require perfecting your cut-off game.

Some candidates are obvious, like people who bring chaos. (Or, as Governor Pritzker suggests, learn how to spot idiots.) Also, back away from people needing constant energy and attention. Pouring into distractions will undercut your agency to invest in your dreams and priorities.

4 Simple Ways to Excel at High Agency Recap

In the March series, 4 Simple Ways to Excel at High Agency, we’ve discussed actionable principles to help you boss up. To level set, the term “high agency” is making the rounds as a way to shape situations as you wish them to be. However, that approach isn’t realistic.

What you want to do instead is stamp high agency with your personal style. Create a version where your achievements aren’t at the expense of others. And where a foundation of people skills—like collaboration, discernment, and emotional intelligence—is natural, not a nice to have.

Here’s a recap of the essential principles:

1. Principle #1 – Show Up: Historically, showing up meant puttering around with a coffee cup in your hand, but face time alone won’t take you places. Shift your opportunities by showing up with curiosity and the willingness to engage and be proactive.
2. Principle #2 – Spot Patterns: Stay ahead of the curve by course-correcting patterns as they form. And if you’re worried about being judgy, remember: Bad days are temporary. Patterns linger.
3. Principle #3 – Pause: Suggesting a time-out can seem like a room killer. But remind the skeptics that a second look can help you sidestep avoidable errors.
4. Principle #4 – Hone Your Cut-Off Game: Some red flags are apparent but also tune into your instincts. Your gut may nudge you to cut connections and switch up your circle. (IYKYK)

Set aside the voices who try to convince you high agency only happens by being loud, abrasive, or breaking things. Instead, be the person who saves the day by partnering with insight, clarity, and bright ideas. Act like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss—and take charge with high agency.