Warren Buffett has some news for you. The cast of thousands you met at Coachella may be fun for a minute, but don’t bet your career on them. Getting to the top of your game means being selective.
He says, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that successful people say no to almost everything.” And people are part of that no. Buffett reflected, “You will lose a lot of friends when you get serious about your life goals. That’s why the Lamborghini has two seats and a bus has 50.”
You might be thinking, Cutting back sounds good, but I can’t always choose who’s in my space. That concern is valid, but what you can do is meter access. Availability was a lesson I learned when I worked in the music business. The cut was easy: Some people had a ticket to the show, others joined the after-party, and an artist’s nearest and dearest had a laminate, giving them all access. You can apply similar gating to your circle.
Changing access was a lesson Steve Adcock learned. One day, he looked around and realized his habits weren’t doing much for his future self. In fairness, his career was moving forward, but it wasn’t necessarily humming along.
Sure—he had good times with people who partied like a rock star. But a funny thing happened when he cut back on regular nights out with complainers: His mental health improved.
Then he lost interest in office politics. What caught his eye instead was aligning with top performers whose skills pushed him to improve. He said yes to stretch projects, and his income jumped.
And then Steve gave up keeping up with the Joneses. His focus became intensely personal, and he and his wife wound up saving enough money to retire at 35. His takeaway is simple: “I upgraded my life by upgrading my friends.”
In the April series, Prune for Productivity, we’re talking about cutting back so you can reduce stress, avoid burnout, and get more accomplished. Like the case study, you might be ready to switch up your circle. But the tricky question is how to go about it without damaging your reputation or burning bridges.
Your first inclination might be to get everyone on the productivity bandwagon. But have you ever known someone who tried to get a team to snap to a single work style? Despite their enthusiasm, forcing a one-size-fits-all all dynamic usually causes a lot of strife.
Here’s the alternative: Toss out tired, worn-out strategies. Optimum productivity doesn’t occur by being pushy, icing out friends, or patronizing influential people. Instead, rebalance how you spend your time using the soft skill superpowers of insight and authenticity. When you understand that every interaction has its time and place, finding the sweet spot between pursuing stretch projects and restorative downtime gets easier.
Reshaping your network can feel confusing. So, here are three ways to kickstart this competency:
Calibrating your relationship investments will require every skill you’ve mastered, but the case study demonstrates the payoff. The right alliances at the right time can add up to something big. (In Steve’s case, enough cash to retire early.) So, if you’re ready to watch your productivity spike, be discriminating about your circle. Remember: Your Lamborghini only has two seats.