Say No to No Breaks

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When singer Alicia Keys looked at her jam-packed interview schedule, she only had one word for her publicist: No.

No to back-to-back interviews.

No to not having time between on-air segments to go to the restroom or refresh her make-up.

No to having no breaks.

Alicia Keys’ reboot started when she took a two-week break after a long tour. She felt so rejuvenated that she called her manager and announced that vacation time was mandatory. Going forward, she had to have two weeks before a tour to get road-ready and then two weeks afterward to decompress before she went on to another project.

You may listen to that anecdote and think, “A rock star has a huge staff waiting to help. Of course, it’s easy for her to say no!” And you’d have a point. But even rock stars need to ask for what they need, and that takes self-awareness.

How Do You Invest in Your Wellbeing?

Think of it this way: If someone asked you right now how you invest in your wellbeing, could you tell them? Could you point to choices you’ve made that are part of your everyday routine? Maybe not? Then let me share a few ideas that have worked for me that may spark your thinking.

I invest in my wellbeing by:

* Setting a limit on my daily meetings, weighting calls I’m leading to the morning. I’m running on fumes by meeting #6 at 4 PM. So, when I’m getting too stacked, I block off the rest of my day.

* Baking in time to get lunch or have downtime between meetings. I’m only at my best if I have mind and body breaks.

* Taking time off whenever I find open space. Powering down early on a sunny Friday afternoon does wonders!

The Two Steps for Self-Care Success

So, how can you use the soft skill of empathy to invest in your wellbeing? Success is a two-step process: first, taking stock with compassion, and then second, communicating your insights when you need to. You can also support yourself with three affirmations:

1. I know when it’s time for a break. Consistent downtime helps me feel refreshed and reinvigorated.
2. I welcome in people who are playful, optimistic, and warm—they feed my wellbeing.
3. It’s time to reclaim my life, my time, and my mind.

Reclaim Your Day Series Recap

In the August series, Reclaim Your Day, we’ve talked about easy self-care strategies to say no in a healthy way. Self-care can seem polarizing or confusing—people either think of it as slow and passive or the angry “Mom’s on strike!” version of no. Instead, act like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss—and make conscious, active choices. Use soft skills to create your personal definition of self-care and juggle a busy schedule.

Here are the four ways we’ve learned this month:

1. In “Say No to How It’s Always Been,” we discovered that creativity was the key to compressing tasks or eliminating them so you can pursue a life you love. Check out the post to see three ways to reclaim your day.
2. In “Say No to Your Default Yes Button,” we learned to use intentions to reset our inner commitment toggle from a default “yes.” Intentions help you make smart choices about whether to say an immediate yes, postpone for the moment, or decline. The next time you feel pressured to say yes, remember the five probing questions to ask first.
3. In “Say No to Striving,” we saw how healthy self-esteem can help you detach from activities and goals that may have made sense at the time. Listen to the podcast to hear five ways you can say yes to the healthier, happier, and simpler you.
4. In “Say No to No Breaks,” we understood that investing in wellbeing starts with compassion and self-awareness. Know what you need to feel good, then ask for it!

Before the month is out, give some thought to how you will use soft skills to start saying no. If speaking up or advocating for yourself seems intimidating, reframe it, and see no as a starting point to correct what either is already out of balance or what might drift off-course.

Interesting people and exciting opportunities are right around the corner, but you’ll need head and heart space to give them an enthusiastic yes. So, when tired behaviors and old mindsets show up, you know what to say: No.