On my way to work one morning, I passed a bunch of landscapers piling out of their truck. I saw them sizing up a mass of mud and rocks at the new home, and thought, Good luck with that! But by the end of the day, the front lawn looked Architectural Digest-ready. Did the change happen automagically? Nope! It required a positive approach and a full day of perseverance.
In the June series, Three Ways to Thrive with Soft Skills, we’re discussing how you can use soft skills to flourish. Educational psychologist Michele Borba identified seven traits that differentiated children who thrive from those who don’t, and optimism and perseverance were part of the shortlist.
The surprise finding was that optimism and following through after setbacks are learned habits, not talents. Borba wrote, “Optimistic kids view challenges and obstacles as temporary and able to be overcome, so they are more likely to succeed. Children who are pessimistic see challenges as permanent, like cement blocks that are impossible to move, and so they are more likely to quit.”
Borba’s advice holds for adults as well as kids. Think about the last project you worked on that went sideways. How would you rate your grit and outlook on a 1-10 scale when the chips are down?
MakeShift CEO Adam Greenberg recently staged an important mock negotiation exercise, but it wasn’t at work.
His daughter was in the middle of a technical tsunami, with a cracked iPhone screen and a laptop which wasn’t loading certain apps. After practicing what she would say, Greenberg’s daughter worked up her courage to call customer service.
Greenberg listened nervously as she was transferred from one support team to the next, half-expecting the conversation to escalate. But his ears perked up when she calmly asked, “Is it ok if we continue troubleshooting? I know that it’s closing time and you probably have other plans tonight.”
Her technical issues weren’t resolved over the phone, but that night was a turning point. In a few hours, she changed from complaining, “I don’t like my voice because I sound like a little kid, and I won’t know what to say anyway. Can’t you just do it for me?!” to being steady, determined, and confident.
By the way, she’s twelve.
Here’s what you can take away from a 12-year-old: Persevering works best when you’re not cynical, pushy, or trying to muscle through. That’s what Adam Greenberg’s daughter did: She kept her cool, even as she got bounced from one Help Desk to the other. She thrived by putting one foot in front of the other.
Remember a tough cross-group assignment at the office? Who did you like best? Probably the problem solver who kept going and kept their sense of humor until the job was done! You can be that person, too. When you start feeling irritable, turn to soft skill How tactics like adaptability and discernment. Make smart choices about when to be nimble or go to the mat.
Expand your problem-solving skills by adding qualities like optimism and perseverance. Here are three ways to start:
It’s tempting to burn down the village when tempers flare, but that’s not where you want to go. Whether you’re navigating a tricky cross-group project at work, in a community group with a few crazy characters, or cleaning out the garage this Summer with a moody family member, persevere with optimism.