You may know Danny Trejo as a sinister villain in movies like Machete, but he’s a big softie off camera. It wasn’t always like that. After a rough start in life including stints in prison and solitary confinement, Trejo joined a 12-step program and embraced sobriety.
Recovery wound up being the steppingstone to his acting career. One night, he was called to the set of Runaway Train to assist someone struggling with drug addiction. The director liked his look and offered Danny the chance to be on camera.
That night was Danny’s turning point, where he shook off the jailhouse mentality forever. Reflecting back, Danny says, “Everything good that has happened to me has happened as the direct result of helping someone else. And that’s the way I live.”
Here’s the object lesson: Authenticity and care are the difference between knowing people and having relationships. So, if how you conduct yourself can change your results, then ask, “Do I sow into other people on the daily?”
Helping others succeed was the idea behind the MLK Day collaboration between 1 Brotherhood Empowered, Men’s Warehouse, and Deloitte. The corporations liked the Brotherhood’s mission so much that they organized a “suiting day” for 20 of its members.
The suits were crucial for special occasions or job interviews, but the “empowered” part was just as important.
One participant commented, “Now we’re gonna be able to fit into places where you wouldn’t normally think that a black kid can fit into. But we can.” That confident outlook is the realization of founder Anthony Thompson’s motto that the Brotherhood is about “mentorship, dignity, and leadership.”
You may be a “productivity first” person, thinking, My inbox is jammed, and I don’t have time to meet new people. But is busyness holding back progress? The harsh reality is that there will always be more to do in life, especially with the pace introduced by AI.
The Brotherhood case study shows a surprising truth that lasting bonds don’t have to take years—one generous encounter can change everything. So, here are five ways you could start small:
* Try to make or deepen one new alliance every week. (Or really challenge yourself to walk out of every meeting with an ally.)
* Invite someone for a 10-minute walk.
* Have a quick sandwich—30 minutes max.
* Talk to someone you haven’t seen in a while. Have a 5-minute chat at the next team meeting, then keep it moving.
If you’d like more ideas, try the AI prompt of, “Give me a list of easy, authentic ways to connect with others.”
People you can truly trust will remain vivid long after you’ve forgotten the meetings, emails, or chats that seem so critical today. So, use people skills like compassion and communication to start making new connections or refreshing current ones. You never know when goodness from doing the right thing at the right time might come back to you.
In the February series, Relationship Threshold Questions, we’ve discussed how to use soft skills to reshape and improve relationships. A common mistake is treating people skills as a “nice to have.” But the truth is that strong partnerships aren’t extra—they’re essential for lasting success.
So, apply competencies such as communication, empathy, and being a creative, respectful collaborator. Here’s a recap of what we’ve learned:
Even the most competent, independent, self-made person needs support and a sounding board. So, act like the creative, wise CEO of your life—a Soul Boss—and tend to your relationships.