Comedian Chris Rock had a light bulb moment about his parents’ successful marriage. What was their secret sauce? Radio silence. When his Dad would leave for work, they had no contact until he got home 10-12 hours later.
By comparison, Chris felt tethered to his phone. All day he would respond to his wife’s texts. He also viewed her social media accounts, sharing and liking her posts. They’re now divorced—let’s hope Twitter wasn’t the cause!
We’re all communicating all the time. In fact, we’re bombarded by email, texts, and notifications coming our way. So, why is communicating more difficult than ever? That’s what we’ll discuss in the October series, Make it Count. We’ll address how you can resolve five common problems, so you can make your communications count.
“I never know who to expect at the staff meeting—reasonable, grounded Janie…or her evil twin!” Justina laughed.
“I know what you mean,” Peter whispered, leaning in. “I think we get a decision in email, and then she suddenly changes her story when the whole team is together.”
“Exactly!” Justina replied. “Would it shock you to know that she thinks she’s being inclusive?”
“What?!”
“Yeah—she wants everyone to weigh in. It took me a while to learn when she said, “Looks good!” she didn’t mean, ‘I approve your recommendation.’ She really meant, ‘Looks good…but let me hear from others before I decide.’ Today’s meeting should be an adventure!”
We’ve all run into someone like Janie, where it seems like a single sentence has two entirely different meanings. What went wrong? Inferences.
Whether we’re conscious of it or not, we all constantly read between the lines. That can be good, because it means we’re sensitive to our surroundings. But it can also backfire when we accidentally misinterpret what’s happening.
That’s why a friend of mine swears by a go-to-hack: “Talk more than you type.”
Janie could have used this technique because “talk more than you type” isn’t only about face-to-face communications. It’s really about being complete. She thought her team intuitively understood and appreciated her work style. Instead, they saw her as unpredictable and confusing. Her communications were so broad that they left her team scrambling. Ultimately, they felt like they couldn’t trust her.
Janie can rebuild her street cred by responding with more than a simple, “Yes,” or “Sounds good!” For example:
Here are three ways you can try the “Talk more than you type” technique this week:
Your words are powerful. Don’t leave valuable communications up to interpretation!