Will Ferrell’s video of “The Landlord” popped up on my YouTube feed, and it’s still as funny as ever. If you haven’t seen it, the gag is that The Landlord is actually a toddler. She’s either mumbling irrational demands or screaming her face off.
Frustration is an authentic emotion, whether you’re a cranky 2-year-old or a kid at heart. And unfortunately, you may have met people at work who think screaming and ultimatums are a tried-and-true way to get what they want, so why quit now?
Here’s why: What you don’t see is the ripple effect from those interactions. For instance, remember hearing the story about someone’s famous Big Room meltdown? Or have you known someone who seemed to be on their way up until they threw their weight around at the wrong moment? Or perhaps someone had a surprise feedback loop. They were speechless when their kid’s new teacher gave them the side eye and said, “I’ve heard your name. My sister-in-law told me all about you.”
Squaring off with people on the daily is exhausting, plus there’s no guarantee that you’ll get your way by muscling others. So, try this instead: Keep your authenticity, but raise your voice in a way that builds rock solid street cred.
Let’s meet someone who learned that raising his voice well was more complicated than it seemed.
Football coach Jimmy Johnson’s program at the University of Miami was so successful that his tenure was nicknamed “The Decade of Dominance.” So, he knew a little something about motivating people when he arrived to coach the Dallas Cowboys. But it wasn’t long before stories about his ear-piercing temper began circulating.
Years later he admitted that he had to refresh his bag of tricks to build a pro-level team. He kept his no-nonsense personality, but thought twice about hauling players who disliked him into his office. What worked instead? People skills.
Jimmy started mining his network when changes were in order. Johnson noticed how players aligned with certain coaches and would call on that coach to lend a hand. He even pressed Troy Aikman into service. If you’re a Running Back trying to start first string every week, there’s nothing more powerful than the star quarterback calling you out about not knowing the team playbook.
In the October series, Showcase Your Authentic Voice at Work, we’re discussing how you can combine being genuine with excellent communication skills. Did you notice that Jimmy Johnson didn’t hesitate giving necessary feedback? The final communication wasn’t ambiguous or watered down—it was just delivered by the person who could have the most impact.
Are you in a situation where you’re so aggravated that you have a loop of choice words going in your head? Before you give in and start shouting, give your people skills (and your better angels) a shot.
In the short run, you could go the old way of bossing up by getting loud. However, the long-run choice is to keep your reputation intact. Going the long way might mean recognizing someone else has the knack to amplify the message. Figuring out how to get your point across without doing so at the expense of someone’s self-esteem. Or perhaps understanding less is more for the time being. Those were the insights Jimmy Johnson practiced to make the Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl winners.
Here are three communication habits to start and stop doing to build a squad that’s always got your back. Shift from simply raising your voice to amplifying critical information:
Partnering to deliver sensitive messages doesn’t mean you’re trading away your personal power or undermining your ideas. So, make this the week you raise your authentic voice by pairing passionate opinions with people skills.